Tired of the malarkey coming from the mainstream media?

Well that stuff's history! Modeled after Movietone newsreels of the 1930s, our beloved Rodge Bigsby cuts the baloney and gives it to you straight.

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This Week: There's No News?

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RODGE IS MISSING!

RODGE IS MISSING! Where is Rodge? Four weeks ago, your beloved newscaster risked his life to bring you the latest conspiracy updates. Today he dials in from an undisclosed location...

Transcript

RODGE IS MISSING!

Where is Rodge? Four weeks ago, you’re beloved newscaster risked his life to Today he dials in from an unknown location..

INTRO:

*Retrotone music starts and cuts off with record scratch after a few seconds*

FLASH BULLETIN: We interrupt this important broadcast to bring you breaking news....

Rodge Bigsby has been compromised! Since his recent coverage of conspiracies has aired, Bigsby has been forced into hiding. Starving, sleepless and scraggly, he joins us today from an undisclosed location via ham radio.

ANNOUNCER: Rodge, are you there?

*Rodge turns dial to NYSNC* Bye, Bye, Bye

ANNOUNCER: Rodge, can you hear us?

*Rodge turns radio dial*

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JULIE: Rodge, we’ve connected. You’re on the air. Can you hear us?

*dialing in radio sound*

RODGE: [tentatively] Uhhh...Hello? Mr. & Mrs. America? Are you out there?? (ECHO) The great battle for Bigsby has just begun. But I shall go on to the end. I shall fight on the seas and oceans, I shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength on the air… I will … not… be intimidated! I shall never surrender! The news must go on! Let us begin…

AND NOW ONTO WORLD NEWS… The British ambassa–––––

*bat attack or bear attack* (unclear)

Airwaves go dead

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