413- Passing the Baton with Leah Haslage

Aleisha McCormack:

Well, hello, and how do you do? It's been a while. Welcome to the Bridechilla Podcast. I'm Aleisha McCormack, and I have a very special guest on the show today. A little new host. I don't say little, I say a big welcome to Leah Haslage. How are you?

Leah Haslage:

Hello Aleisha! I am so excited. Oh, my gosh. Thank you, thank you so much for the warm welcome.

Aleisha McCormack:

Well thank you, thank you so much for passing the baton, accepting the baton of Bridechilla.

Leah Haslage:

Girl, this is big shoes to fill, but I'm really excited because we're fellow nerds in the wedding world, and I'm honored to be a part of this with you.

Aleisha McCormack:

Oh, well, thank you. Look, this has been a really surprising sort of six months of my life, just to bring it back to me. That, you know, in the pandemic, sort of in March, early 2020, I sort of put Bridechilla to rest. I put it on a little bed rest and just said, sleep tight, my princess. We'll see what happens, after this whatever the hell we're about to go through.

And I really didn't know what was going to happen with weddings, what was going to happen with my life, what was going to happen with the podcast, so I just sort of let it be. And then a very pleasant email hit my inbox and it was your wonderful crew saying, hey, how do you feel about bringing Bridechilla back? And I was very excited.

Leah Haslage:

Well, I was going to say, how long had you been doing Bridechilla at that point? Because you had like 400 million episodes and they were all amazing and so helpful. And I mean, those last few in the pandemic, you really were helping guide couples when they didn't know what the hell was going on.

Aleisha McCormack:

Well, that's kind of you to say. Because I was, I mean, I felt equally as lost with what was going to happen. Obviously, it was hugely unclear internationally what was going to go down with if we could continue to have events. Obviously, we didn't for a while. And then it was the mystery of, would people go back to the way it was? Would we change everything? How would we adapt to this new, we say, lifestyle? So yeah, it was one of those things that it was nice to be able to guide people. But then I was like, I don't really know if I can help people anymore. And then, of course, We all just stayed at home for a long time.

So I did, yeah, I made over 400 episodes of the show, which was not my intention when I started at all. I thought it'd be a 10 episode situation. I'd just get all this stuff off my chest and I'd move on with my life. But it turned out there was a lot more to get off my chest and everyone else had things to say too, so I just kept going.

Leah Haslage:

Well, what made you decide to start that? To start Bridechilla to begin with?

Aleisha McCormack:

Wedding planning was on my, you know, we were planning our wedding and I planned the wedding, we'd gotten married, and I just felt really attached to the idea of how shocked I was with how things ran, the wedding industry. You sort of hear about things like, you know, the obvious things about budget and the planning of it can be stressful, blah, blah, blah.

But for me, it was more about, oh, all of the emotional stuff, trying to appease everyone, it seemed in my whole life, the obligation that was attached to things. And then also feeling immense pressure to stick to traditions that I had no interest in sort of redoing. But then I was like, oh, I probably should do this.

Leah Haslage:

You mean you don't want to see your uncle try to bite someone's girder off their leg at the reception? What?

Aleisha McCormack:

So exactly, with that viewpoint, I was just like, I feel like I need to share some things. So really, at the time, I was wanting to, you know, I'm a comedian, I'm a performer, and I thought I didn't want to do a comedy podcast because I just thought we've got four million of those with far more qualified people. But, you know, I bought a little microphone, plugged it in and thought, I'll just create this podcast in layman's terms, say this is what I did, and hopefully someone will listen and go from there.

So that's where it took off. really. And it was called the Save the Date podcast. If you hear the early episodes, it's like, you're listening to the Save the Date wedding podcast. And I was like, oh, so much to say. But it was like that for the first, I want to say like 50, 60 episodes, maybe I could be wrong. And then someone said, you make me feel really chill. You make me feel really like a Bridechilla. And I'm like, ding, ding, ding. This is what you, this is what I'm trying to do.

Leah Haslage:

And it goes with your attitude of like, “Yeah, just chill the fuck out”.

Aleisha McCormack:

It doesn't have to be that serious. No, and it's like, yes, the commitment is something that you should be looking forward to with optimism and maybe some seriousness of going, I'm going to make a commitment to my partner. But actually, it's a party. It's a party. And ultimately, It's about two people making that commitment, and all the other stuff is extra. So that's really, if you break down Bridechilla, it's basically just saying, strip away all of the shit and all of the extra stuff that's raining down upon you as soon as you start, and wipe all that away, and then go, what is this day about? And then build up on there. That was Bridechilla.

Leah Haslage:

Well, here's what we parallel so much, and I feel like we're soul sisters. I'm actually wearing my soul sister necklace today in spirit of this.

Aleisha McCormack:

Oh, beautiful.

Leah Haslage:

Thank you. You created it out of your wedding planning and you ended the podcast during COVID in 2020.

Aleisha McCormack:

Yes.

Leah Haslage:

I was a newlywed and created my podcast Weddings Unveiled with Leah in 2020 during COVID. So I kind of like was already getting into it as you were getting out, I guess. And we both have backgrounds as television producers and live entertainment.

Yeah, like I feel like so much of what you've said on the show and how you have gone through your trajectory matches, is parallel to what I've gone through. So this is a nice game to do this with you because I really feel a kindred spirit. I always see how our marriages kind of went since then. Yeah.

Aleisha McCormack:

Well, we should address that. So, I am no longer married to Richard, who I did speak to a lot and talked about a lot during the podcast. You know, it's one of those things that life takes you on a different path, sometimes an unexpected path. And that certainly was unexpected to me at the time. And you have moments of reflection of going, gee, what a journey as a couple and also as a business partnership, because Richard was quite a big part of Bridechilla as well. You know, that was also a fact in winding things down because I really went through the stage of going, gosh, can I be talking about weddings when I'd sort of presented this relationship?

It was genuine throughout the whole podcast, but then you sort of go through the process of going, oh, we're no longer in this couple and all this stuff that was created, what do you do with that? And that's not just about business. That's in any sort of relationship breaking down, whether it be a romantic relationship or a friendship, you've got to go through that process of grieving, I suppose.

What is beautiful, there's just so much of, you know, you think about relationships and the people that I met through Bridechilla. I just have so many amazing friendships that I've still got now, you know. Went all over the world to wedding conferences and I've picked up people all over the place, Leah. So, you know, Bridechilla to me is just such a huge part of my life. And when I say to people, I made this podcast and it was listened to by millions of people and I've sold all these books. I think, you know, people don't expect that from me when I'm just at work making my TV shows and stuff. I've got this whole other life. It's sort of exciting, you know? It's like a little secret world which you forget sometimes that I made.

Leah Haslage:

And you did and it's been so helpful. I mean you are the OG of wedding podcasts. You help really start the movement.

Aleisha McCormack:

Well that's really flattering and I mean there are lots of wonderful people that create really helpful content across a bunch of platforms. And it's been funny dipping into the world because I sort of stepped out of it, obviously, during pandemic times. And when I thought Broadchiller wasn't ever coming back, I was like, all right, that's done now. And it's been so good sort of delving back into the world of weddings and seeing how things have changed. And also, I think the pandemic actually helped people lose a bit of that stiffness, perhaps, with weddings. Because, you know, I think for a lot of us, we came out of that era going, I'm going to change. I'm going to be different. Did we? I don't know. I think some people with weddings went, “We don't need the big weddings anymore”. We'll have a smaller intimate wedding. We don't need to go to these huge things. And other people went, we really want to celebrate our love. We want a huge wedding. So it's sort of interesting seeing the contrast.

Leah Haslage:

No, it's true. And I want to talk about how weddings changed over the last few years in particular. in a second, but just kind of bringing it back for a minute. For those that aren't familiar with me, and then maybe you've got newbies listening that don't know you, just kind of, so when Evergreen contacted you and we wanted to bring Bridechilla back, tell us about that transition and then me coming into the fold with a baton being tossed.

Aleisha McCormack:

The baton was tossed. Here's the weird thing. I got the call, and this is just how my life is going at the moment. I was working on Australian Survivor. I was producing on Australian Survivor in Samoa when I got the call to say, hey, would you like to speak to this wonderful company? They might have an interest in buying Bridechilla. And I was like, hell yes. So I had this strange call. The call was great, but I'm in another, you know, in the middle of the Pacific and had a chat to the Evergreen team who were really very warm and lovely about reviving Bridechilla with a new host, you, Leah, which was very exciting to me. And they wanted to purchase the brand and bring it back into the fold, which to me just gave me such warm, fuzzy heart feels because I just feel like Bridechilla er had a lot more to give, but I didn't know if I was the person to be giving it, basically.

Leah Haslage:

Well, I mean, you're still gonna be here giving it. the entire time with me. But for those not familiar, Evergreen Podcasts, we are a podcast company out of Cleveland, Ohio in the United States, and we are on track to become the leading independent podcast company in the country. We have over 300 podcasts on our network, which includes a couple of wedding podcasts you can check out. And we are so excited to add BrideChilla to the mix. You created such an amazing program and again, so helpful, great resource and I'm excited to be a part of it. Um, so with that, like just a little brief background about me. I have been in media and entertainment for 20 years now, uh, reporting for news and live entertainment with the Cleveland Cavaliers and all of our local sports teams in Ohio. And then I've been with Evergreen podcasting for almost five years and have been the producer of 11 different shows and the host of Weddings Unveiled with Leah. And then on top of having the wedding podcast, I've been in multiple weddings, I've gone to a thousand weddings, and I planned my own. So I have first-hand knowledge of this stuff as well.

Aleisha McCormack:

And tell me, did you feel bridechilla when you were planning your wedding?

Leah Haslage:

I actually didn't listen to any wedding podcasts because I didn't think to.

Aleisha McCormack:

Did you feel like a Chilla though? How did your wedding planning go?

Leah Haslage:

So I went into it. I'm glad you asked this. So I went into it thinking, I got this. I've been to so many weddings. I've been in weddings. I have studied weddings for so long. I was a bridesmaids consultant. Oh. I literally live for say yes to the dress. And I get all the bridal magazines even before being engaged. Pinterest is my best friend. I got this. I'm a producer. That's what I do, right? Oh, you got it. Six months into planning, I had a breakdown with my now ex-husband, and I go, I cannot produce my own wedding on top of my other job. And he's like, ah, I don't have to deal with this. And I'm like, I need to hire somebody, just like a month out, just like a month out person. And I did, I hired a month out day-of coordinator and they saved my life. Cause I was like, I don't know how I'm supposed to coordinate all the components, the photographer, the venue. Like I got enough shit on my plate. Like I can not do this. I literally had a breakdown. And so yeah, I was not as chill at that moment as I thought I would be. But once I had Oak and Honey, they were amazing. That helped chill me out and they were worth every penny.

Aleisha McCormack:

Hey, the first, I think the biggest thing is like asking for help is the hardest thing, especially for professional people. You're like, I can do everything. And I do that in my, my like normal life now where I'm just like, yeah, I'll take another task on. Come on, bring it on. Let's go back at him. And then you're just like, oh my gosh, I've got 17 tasks going right now when I could have probably just allocated or distributed those tasks to other people who were probably willing to do it. Yet I'm a hero and I take on everything.

Leah Haslage:

I see you. It's not worth it. I know. It will all come together, but it is helpful, I think. This is a big tip I do give people. Whether you can afford to pay a day of coordinator at the minimum, or have a family member or friend help out, have someone take on the task of coordinating the team, because you need to be able to enjoy your day with your partner, period.

Aleisha McCormack:

Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. You don't need to be running around cueing different vendors to do things at certain times. You want to be present and enjoying the day because that's what the whole process of planning is about, reaching that day and also the lead up as well. I don't want to put it on just one day. I think it's also just the journey, enjoying that sort of process without, as you said, going into that spiral of like, oh my God, this is an overwhelming experience. That's never fun.

Leah Haslage:

No, and it can get really overwhelming, whether you're choosing your dress or suit, or you're picking the venue, or the guest list, which to me is like hell on earth. So that's all overwhelming, you know? Yeah, it's just different grades.

Aleisha McCormack:

You reach different stages as to what you're going to freak out about totally. Which is why Bridechilla's here.

Leah Haslage:

Exactly. We're here to guide you so you don't have those freak out moments. And if you're having that freak out moment, we can tell you, one, it's normal. Two, you'll get through it. And three, ask for help.

Aleisha McCormack:

Definitely. Oh, very good. Top three.

Leah Haslage:

Yeah. So what was the biggest change you've seen in the wedding industry over the years of doing BrideChilla and even since then?

Aleisha McCormack:

Well, I suppose, you know, it was interesting. Bridechilla came at the sort of cusp of, you know, diversity and equality and gender equality and gay marriage and all these sort of different components of equality sort of came to head just when I was making the show, which was great. And also a long time coming for many countries that were sort of going through that process of legalization and also going into all the politics of weddings as well. It really changed. And not just talking about gender politics, I think there was a shift in people really saying we don't want to necessarily live by the traditional, we don't have to necessarily go through all of the things that our parents went through when it came to weddings. So I feel like in that sort of mid-2000s stage, when I first started the podcast, it was when things were really starting to come to a head.

Also, that's when your Pinterest was really like the number one website to go to now to plan your wedding was Pinterest. I think that obviously other platforms have emerged. Pinterest is still very relevant. But the technology attached to weddings really also started to escalate really quickly during the period of me making the show. So all of these really handy bits of tech and inclusions that can make life easier were also things that were included in the industry. Just basic stuff like planning where people are sitting. people were coming out with all these sort of great little apps going, oh, we can do a seating planner. And that sounds like basic bitch stuff now, but like eight years ago, it was like pretty, pretty, pretty significant.

And then also it's just the idea that the attachment to traditions and also the way things look, I think the look of weddings have really evolved. And that excites me because To me, it's about presenting who you are as individuals and who you are as a couple. Your wedding should reflect that. So it doesn't mean you have to look like a cookie cutter version of everyone else, wearing a white dress if you don't want to wear a white dress. If you do, great. And wearing a suit, vice versa. And I'm talking about all genders here. So I think there's a freedom now, I think, more to express who you are. And then to put that into your wedding and go, hey, we like baseball. So this is our wedding, and this is how it's going to be.

Leah Haslage:

And you go, great.

Aleisha McCormack:

We're the baseball couple, fine. Or, you know, we don't put all this obligation to sort of follow the pathway of getting married in specific places that are for weddings. You know, who cares? Get married somewhere else.

Leah Haslage:

Not everything has to be a hotel ballroom. No! Oh, God, no. I mean, if you want that, but, like, you don't have to. Yeah, you don't have to. But there was a long time where people thought that you had to do, like... There's plenty of other options. Like you said, cookie cutter, right? Like, it's this is this, and you have to have this tiered cake and yada yada. It's like, if I don't want cake, I don't want cake.

Aleisha McCormack:

Like, you don't have to have cake. No, or just have a big ice cream cake if you like. That sounds fantastic. Yeah. Actually, that sounds marvelous.

Leah Haslage:

So with trends, what trend do you hope stays around forever? And what trend do you hope goes away? Forever. Like you never want to see or hear it again.

Aleisha McCormack:

Yeah. Oh, that's such a good question. I mean, for me, the sort of fads or trends that come and go over the years have been so interesting to me. I mean, look, I welcome things like, you know, if you want to trash your dress, trash your dress. But then I'm also like, maybe you could make something else out of the dress. Or you don't have to wear the traditional wedding dress and then buy a dress that you want to wear in your real life. I say real life, you know what I mean? Outside of the wedding. Outside of the wedding, yeah. And wear it again or dye it or something. So I think there are things where I noticed over the years, there were lots of little fads that came and went. sometimes people really, really jumped on board, and other times people were very like, this is a one-trick pony, we're done.

I think the good things for me are the trend, and this is probably not the sexiest answer, but it's like renting stuff, renting wedding clothes, and not feeling obliged to have to keep spending money on things that you will literally only use once, possibly. People go, oh, definitely reuse all of these 400 tablecloths that I've bought for the wedding. you were never going to, they're going to sit in your garage and you'll forget about them. And then when you move house, you'll go, what's the fuck are these boxes? Oh, it's the 400 tablecloths we purchased when we should have hired them. So I think it's looking at what's a value to you and then what you can spend money on.

And I think otherwise for me, yeah, one of the biggest trends I loved was renting everything, including so, so many people now rent their attire. And I just think that's a very interesting sort of thing to do. And I probably would have done it if it was back in the day when I got married. I really struggled with finding a dress that I really liked. And in the end, I went for an off-the-rack dress after I'd bought a traditional wedding dress, because I'm like, this traditional wedding dress is not me. And then I ended up buying a lovely dress. But if I could have hired that, I would have done it in a jiff.

Leah Haslage:

Did you feel pressure with the formal traditional dress?

Aleisha McCormack:

Yeah, I think the pressure came from me more than anyone. No one told me I should be wearing an off-the-shoulder dress. And when I bought it, I thought it was beautiful. But, you know, I wear New Balance and jeans most days and, you know, I love a bit of makeup and looking sexy and fun. But I'm like, I'm not a strapless, ball-gown bitch. That's not who I am. You know, I think the pressure was me going, all right, you're a bride. This is how you should look. And I went crazy. And I did talk about this in earlier podcasts when I would go at this, like, I need accessories. This will fix everything. And I bought every bolero and shiny cardigan and belt. And I've got leather, I've got leather belts, I'll be rustic. And then I've got like 10 different leather belts. I'm calling my dad going, have you seen belts? And I'm like, fuck, this is not the solution. You can't just add more shit on to make you look better when you just like get...

So yeah, I think the pressure totally came from in my own head, but that came. from, you know, all of the stuff we're told over and over again that this is how you should look. So it was an awakening for me. And that was also sort of the beginning of that thought process of going, oh, fuck this. I'm going to do what I want. Yeah, it's a week before the wedding. I'll buy another dress. And it made me feel so much better. It was freeing.

Leah Haslage:

And that is a great tip and reminder. Stay true to you. It's so easy to get sucked into, like, what your family's done, what society tells you. You get obsessed with that image on Pinterest or Instagram. Instagram's a big one, you know, with weddings and the FOMO that you might get of not having that, like, million-dollar look. But, like, if you want to wear sneakers down the damn aisle, do it. Who cares? You can do it. It's you.

Aleisha McCormack:

It's authentically you, right? A sensible shoe you will not regret, I have to say. But yeah, I absolutely agree. Yeah, staying true to yourself. Also, you want to look back at the photos and think if I still look back at my wedding photos now, not that I'm looking at them often, but I'm saying if I look at the way it was done, it was definitely reflected who we were as people at the time. And I would feel regret, I think, looking back. and thinking, I wore that other dress, I'm sure I would have felt fabulous and wonderful, but it wasn't really who I was and who I am now. So I think you just need to think, hey, we don't want to look back and go, this is not who we were. And of course, you will change as people as time goes on. People that say, well, the wedding reflects who you are now and into the future. That's probably absolute rubbish. But I do think you should represent who you are at this time of getting married.

Leah Haslage:

I agree, and like, you can look at some weddings and it's a time capsule, right? Especially the 1980s, for example. Oh yeah. It's not classic, it's like very of that moment. So like, if you just say you, it's gonna be timeless anyways, right? But... Absolutely. Your renting, your renting tip. I really agree with that. And it really wasn't a thing when I was getting married either. I mean, maybe it was, but I wasn't hip to it. But I would have done my bridesmaids dresses that way or like rent or go buy. But I was like, oh, no, like not match match. But like, I'll just go to David's Bridal. You're all over the U.S. like. Yeah, yeah. Now it'd just be like, here's the color, just find what you like.

Aleisha McCormack:

Yeah, pick a color, go for it. Exactly. Or, yeah, there are lots of good rental companies out there. You can get great deals. And then just also know you can send it back and it's not going to take up the wardrobe space. The precious space in the wardrobe.

Leah Haslage:

Well, space, as you were saying about all the linens and the thing, I was up in my attic. I bought a house months ago, and I was up there. I'm like, I have all the stuff from the wedding that I'm not going to use. And so I have a friend getting married next year, and I took photos. And I was like, hey, do you need six boxes of gold votives? Because they're yours, free of charge. I will save you all the money. Here's the sign. Here's this thing. And it's like, yeah, if I can pass it to a couple that will lovingly use it, take it off my hands.

Aleisha McCormack:

That's great. Yeah. You know? That's wonderful. Yeah, I do think, I think that's wonderful to do that. And also, yeah, don't cling on to things. I think that's the other thing. You will never use, well, that's probably a bit strong. It's highly unlikely, like the stuff in Leah's attic, move it quickly after the wedding.

Leah Haslage:

Yeah. Don't linger. Yeah. Get rid of it. Four years, five years later, like you're not, no. Yeah. It's time to go. Yeah. So with the show, with Bridechilla, do you have favorite moments from guests that you want to highlight?

Aleisha McCormack:

Oh, look, I mean, I had so many wonderful wedding vendors on, who just really were honest and open and shared really, I think, really helpful tips. So, I mean, over the years, my guests became like the regulars. We had built this great rapport. And also, you know, for me, the most important part of the show were my listeners. And the Q&A episodes for me were always surprising. I'm just like, man, all these people are leaving me voice messages asking for my advice. And there was pressure there, because sometimes I would give the wrong advice, or they would let me know, I don't agree with you, which I loved. Because I'm like, great, this is advice. This is not a Bible. This is not fact. But the idea that people took the time, but also shared quite intimate, vulnerable things with me, and therefore the audience, this huge audience, which was great. But it just shocked me that people really cared about what I had to think.

But also, I really enjoyed giving the advice. And connecting and also then making people realize, oh, this person's having this issue. And then so many people would write to me going, I'm so glad you played that voice message because I've had this issue and I was just too scared to ask, or I didn't think anyone else was having this problem. It's a really common life situation where you hear someone else complain about their life and you're like, oh, thank fuck, I'm having the same thing and it's not just me.

So for me, you know, when you talk about favourite moments in the show, I'd have to say, not even getting specific, it's just this idea and going back through now in the process of handing the reins over to Evergreen Podcast, it's been really nice to sort of listen to a little bit and also go back through the website and read some of the questions and really think, gosh, it made an impact, but also, oh, it was really fun just giving advice to people. I realized how much I enjoy it and going, it made me feel very self-important. But also, I just, it was just lovely to be able to share.

Leah Haslage:

But you went into the trenches. So you have the wisdom to dispense onto others. So it's nice to share with what you've been through.

Aleisha McCormack:

Well, that's nice. I just sort of saw myself as an honest friend, really. And maybe just saying the stuff that your friends at home are a bit scared to say. I often think people would ask me questions, and I'm sure you're going to experience the same thing, Leah, because I know you'll be taking Q&A questions, and hopefully I'll be a part of that a little bit as well.

It's really nice that we can do that. The idea that I think a lot of people would just record and go, I haven't asked or told anyone this before, but I'll tell it to a podcast, but also I'll share it and maybe it will give me some sort of relief and help other people. So sometimes people would write to me going, I haven't told anyone else about this fear or this problem, but can you just, can you solve this for me? And let's just get it out and get it done. It's like ripping the Band-Aid off. And I would say that it was really bold that people did that and chose to share that with me. I was really grateful.

Leah Haslage:

Well, it's like we're therapists. You can tell your therapist anything, but you can't tell your mama, you know? But I think that's because sometimes you're afraid of what your family or friends might say or think, even though they might come from a loving place and not judge you whatsoever. But it's still a vulnerability. And you're in a very vulnerable state planning a wedding. You don't think you're going to be until you're in it. But I think that's why. you and people like us that are doing this to be a resource and to help others, it's kind of like being a therapist. You are there to be the ears and the tough love and dispense what we know, our wisdom with what we've been through and without judging, but you can also go home and not feel like you have to be, yeah, you can turn us off. You can't turn off your family and friends all the time.

Aleisha McCormack:

Absolutely. Absolutely. You know, I think with the Bridechilla audience as well, I would just come up with these things or say these things and they would be repeated back. And I think it was really interesting. Like the fuck it bucket became a big thing, which was just something I didn't invent the fuck it bucket. It was something I'd read about what people had said in a Reddit post or something. I remember crediting the same that this is just like, a huge light bulb moment for me of just then taking it and running with it and using it for most of the, like it became the ethos really of the show later on.

Leah Haslage:

Was the fuck it bucket kind of like the new, am I the asshole? What's the fuck it bucket?

Aleisha McCormack:

No, no, the fuck-it bucket was, so someone just said, oh, it was, it wasn't even in context of wedding. Someone is like, ah, I'm worried about this thing. And someone's like, just put in the fuck it bucket. And I read it going, oh, mm-hmm. And so when someone had to ask me a question, I think, I'd have to go back and listen to the specifics, but we were talking about chair covers. And they were worried about, do I need to invest in all these extra things? And I'm like, you know what? If they're not meaningful for you, just put them in the fuck-it bucket and watch them burn. And then it really took off with the idea of, really the fuck-it bucket was just a place where insignificant things go and also worry and obligation. So it just became this almost like a weird umbrella term for what Bridechilla stands for. But that episode, I would always refer people back. So like, what episode do you listen to first? And I was like, ah, fuck-it bucket, go to the fuck-it bucket. That just explains everything. And then go back and start it all. Cause then that'll get you in the frame of mind. And if you don't like the fuck-it bucket, Bridechilla might not be for you.

Leah Haslage:

That was the thing. No, but I love that though. And that is so true. And let me tell you, chair covers can go in the bucket. Oh, God. Yeah. You do not need to spend the extra money unless like you are that into detail and have that much of a budget. It's not worth it.

Aleisha McCormack:

Yeah, I don't think. Yeah, I mean, chair covers and I have a long history of me just really hating on it. But 286, the fuck-it bucket was the first of two eighty six. And I did actually remember there was a good one. We'll link it. Yeah, link it, do it. And then 3.22, I remember the fuck it bucket was, I did a vendor edition, which was good. I did a two-part vendor edition, which was really fun because I had a bunch of people on that. I cut it like a little documentary, but it was just, we went through all of the things vendors would put in the fuck-it bucket, which was powerful because it's like them talking about their own business, but then go, by the way, you don't need this.

Leah Haslage:

I love that. We need that kind of honesty in our lives. Yeah, we do. Okay, speaking of honesty, a question that I've already prepped you, like you know this is coming, but I have to know because I'm such a celebrity pop culture wedding freak, like live for it. I really want to know what your favorite celebrity wedding and least favorite celebrity wedding is.

Aleisha McCormack:

You remember that Kim Kardashian wedding to that basketball player?

Leah Haslage:

Oh, the big one that was on E? Chris Humphries. Is that one of your favorites or least favorites?

Aleisha McCormack:

I don't know. I think about that wedding quite often.

Leah Haslage:

I think Mindy Weiss was the wedding planner for that one. Yes. Or Sharon Sachs. I think it was Mindy Weiss. I don't want to diss all... Or was it Sharon Sachs? It was one of them. I don't know.

Aleisha McCormack:

I have no idea. It's one of those two. I know that for sure. Celebrity weddings have never been my jam. As in... I don't know. See, here's what I think about celebrity weddings. They're just really rich people who have every opportunity in life. Some people have earned the fame and celebrity through productivity and skill. Some people are just famous and that's fine, but that's the world we live in. I don't know, when I look at celebrity weddings and when I read, you know, and now this is why I'm struggling with this question because aesthetically I could name five weddings that I think are beautiful, but it's also like what are the things that really float your boat?

Recently, the wedding that I really loved was Naomi Watts. And if you Google her, so she just, I mean, why should she tell us? Because we're just people who don't know her. But I follow her on Instagram. I'm into her Metapores stuff. So she had this great little town hall wedding. Oh my gosh, what's her husband's name? I've forgotten his name. He's on The Morning Show. Billy Kudrow. Oh, thank you. They've been together for 15 years or something. They're not a new couple, but they just had this little pop-up wedding. They're a quiet couple. Oh, I love a quiet couple.

Leah Haslage:

I forgot they were together until they got married.

Aleisha McCormack:

Yes. So when that popped up, I'm like, oh, you look amazing. You are doing your own thing. beautiful wedding photos, but then also just very casual in a very stylish way. Casual style, that's my look. I think I want to look where it's like, I just put this look together. And then you might, you might've spent six hours putting the look together, but I like the casual look.

I mentioned the Kim Kardashian-Chris Humphreys wedding because that was the first celebrity wedding I watched and I'm like, well, regardless of their relationship, this is a wedding for television, you know? And it was a turn off to me, but also I couldn't look away. It was like, obviously, that whole experience, you know, she's been through some things. But that wedding was weird and I think about it often. I also just think about the SNL sketch that went around it. And please link to that. I'm going to send you the link so you can watch it.

Leah Haslage:

It's ridiculous.

Aleisha McCormack:

Anyway, Kristen Wiig as the matriarch Kardashian, as Kris, is one of the best moments that always, if I need a pick up, I watch that episode of SNL and it makes me really giggle.

Leah Haslage:

What do you think of celebrity weddings influencing our weddings in our culture?

Aleisha McCormack:

But celebrities and people of high stature, I mean, throughout history have influenced us, so I suppose that's just how it goes. I think it's fine to get inspiration from wherever you get inspiration from. Go to an art gallery, look at that sort of stuff. You could find inspiration everywhere. I think it's just feeling pressure to replicate something that, understandably, 99% of the population couldn't afford or have the time and energy to replicate. We don't have the Mindy Weisses on our team to do that, nor do we have celebrity contacts and the effort and energy that probably goes into making these huge events.

And also, a lot of these events, they've got 500 guests. Who the fuck knows 500 people that you want to celebrate a day like that? It's a spectacle. And that's the choice of the couple. But I also think It's probably the expectation of looking up to something like that. It's probably not unrealistic, but also be inspired by what you're inspired by, but don't feel the obligation to then replicate and get into debt or feel pressure, basically. Agreed.

Leah Haslage:

Especially the debt. There's no reason for it. And it's easy to add up, which we'll get into on the show, but it's easy to add up fast.

Aleisha McCormack:

Absolutely it is. And I think pressure to spend, get things done, but I think it's just really being mindful of what you want to achieve and how you're going to achieve it is really the basics of wedding planning. And not getting out of your head and panicking and adding extra things on or feeling like It needs to be something bigger than it is. It's just coming back to that Zen place, taking a deep breath, figuring out what you want. Do a bit of, you know, car screaming if you need to get it out and you'll be fine.

Leah Haslage:

Well, Aleisha, as we're wrapping up here, what are you hoping for the future of Bridechilla now that we're revamped and restarted?

Aleisha McCormack:

It literally gives me a little ping in my heart every time I think of you making the show, me popping in occasionally, and then also just the idea that it's going to be launching to a whole new generation of chillas. It really thrills me. I feel full trust and love for you, Leah, that you will take Bridechilla in your path now. This is the other thing. I have my Bridechilla, big professional loudmouth here. You're a new professional loudmouth, so I'm passing on to you.

Leah Haslage:

I love it. And I love that you'll be teaming up with me and you can pop in. I love, I love, I love the pop in. Yeah, you can pop in and bullshit with me and we'll just do what we can to help others.

Aleisha McCormack:

I, you know, and the idea that I can, yeah, be, still be a part of it in this way, or, you know, just watch you and yeah, it's thrilling to me. So thank you. And thanks for involving me like this. Cause that, that you, this didn't have to happen, you know? So, um, it's a really nice way for me to still be a part of it and transition you into the main seat, which is just so exciting.

Leah Haslage:

I'm excited. I'm excited to get to know all the chillas out there. Yeah. The newbies and the OGs are welcome.

Aleisha McCormack:

It's a killer community. I'm so grateful. And that's the thing. The chiller community is one of those places. Even, you know, I noticed for years on our Facebook groups and even just sort of looking on the blog, I remember people were just hanging out there after they got married. And that was a testament to the community more than anything, that they would still stay. Because a lot of time you get married and you're like, all right, I'm deleting all those pages. I'm leaving the groups. I'm getting out. I'm moving on to the next thing in my life. But to see people hanging in those spaces and still contributing and providing advice, that to me is just a testament to the people that Bridechilla attracted. So hats off to the Chillas out there for being wonderful people and a great community. You're going to love them more.

Leah Haslage:

Yeah, cheers to that. And hopefully they still stay on board after they get married because, like you just said, once you've been through it, you can dispense what you've just learned. hey, this worked for me, this didn't work for me. I shouldn't have spent my money on this or I'm so glad I bought this or did this or yeah, keep sharing it. Let's keep helping each other because that's the only way you grow and get better and save money. Absolutely. And then make some friends. Yes. That's the best part, right? Yeah, it's really great. And I'm glad I have your friendship now too.

Aleisha McCormack:

Likewise, Leah. This is just lovely. I've got a new friend. Bridechill is continuing. Hurrah. Yes.

Leah Haslage:

Well, until next time, chillas.

Aleisha McCormack:

Happy days.

Leah Haslage:

It's been awesome. Happy days.

Leah Haslage:

Thanks for joining us today! Be sure to subscribe wherever you get podcasts so you never miss an episode. Give us a follow on social media and visit thebridechilla.com. To leave a question you'd like to hear answered on the show, head to speakpipe.com/bridechillapodcast, also linked in the description.

Bridechilla is a production of Evergreen Podcasts. Thanks to our producer and engineer, Gray Sienna Longfellow, and our executive producers, Brigid Coyne and Gerardo Orlando. And of course, a special thanks to Aleisha, our OG bridechilla, and Megan Ely of OFD Consulting. I'm your host, Leah Haslage. Until next time, Chillas!