422- Budgeting Insights with Jessica Bishop and Sari Mayer of The Budget Savvy Bride

Leah Haslage:

Hello, chillas. Welcome to the Bridechilla podcast, where we celebrate love and help you plan your wedding day. I'm your host, Leah Haslage, and I'm thrilled to be here with you. Whether you're just starting to plan or counting down the days, we're here to help you stay calm, cool, and collected throughout the wedding journey. We've got amazing guests and expert tips for you. So let's get this wedding party started and embrace your inner Bridechilla.

Chillas, I am so excited for today's guests. They are dear friends of mine, which I'm so proud to have them on the show. Jessica Bishop and Sari Mayer from Budget Savvy Bride and the Bouquet Toss podcast. Welcome, ladies, to the show.

Sari Mayer:

Thank you.

Jessica Bishop:

Thanks so much for having us.

Leah Haslage:

So for those not familiar with Budget Savvy Bride, give us the lowdown.

Jessica Bishop:

I started Budget Savvy Bride 16 years ago when I was planning my own budget savvy wedding right out of college, entering the job force in the middle of the recession and really just had to find creative ways to make what I wanted to happen on a limited budget. And so that's really how it started. Over this last period of time, it's really grown into a more national resource. And so we have everything from real weddings that we publish with couples where they share their full budget breakdowns. So you can really see what's possible within your budget as well as printables, tons of great advice and information and lots of deals and discounts that people can get to save money on things for their wedding as well.

Leah Haslage:

I love that you show the budget breakdown because when you have things like Pinterest and Instagram influencing you, this is a great way to see what actually is possible with what you have. Because you can still have things like your dream, but maybe not as extravagant, but still beautiful.

Jessica Bishop:

I'm so grateful that Pinterest wasn't as big of a thing when I was planning. I feel like now brides just have pressure and like this influx of ideas. And I know Sari can definitely speak to this from her own recent wedding planning experience. When you know all of the options, it makes it so much harder, I think, to make some of those decisions. So yeah, I do feel like the Pinterest and the Instagram of it all can make it a bit more overwhelming for couples.

Leah Haslage:

Yeah, Sari congratulations, recent newlywed. That's so exciting.

Sari Mayer:

Yes, thank you.

Leah Haslage:

Being in the wedding space, did you find it easier to plan your wedding or harder? Both.

Sari Mayer:

I would say easier in the sense that like, I mean, I've been thinking about weddings for seven years working with Budget Savvy Brides. So I think you're automatically kind of thinking like when I was, I've had like a rings board saved in Instagram for years and for a while my now husband was like, what are you doing? And I was like, it's for work.

Jessica Bishop:

Perfect excuse for anyone who's trying to drop him for their partner, right?

Sari Mayer:

You know so forever like I had not just ideas of what I wanted but even like Jess is saying resources like things that I could turn to and So in that sense, much easier. But, then I also had definitely like the second we were engaged, we were like, oh my God, your wedding must be planned already. And I was like, actually, no, because at this point now I know too many things and there's too many options. And so I really did rely on my husband to kind of put his input in because I could see it going so many different ways.

And so it was really helpful for him. Like he had a pretty clear idea. So it was very helpful to be able to have his input and be like, OK, he's thinking this way. I mean, I'm open to it, too. So let's do that. But to what Jess was saying, like, you know, the Pinterest of it all and even just Instagram and TikTok, like in the past, you kind of like you maybe went to a few weddings before your own and then you would see like the publicized like like, celeb weddings, which to me were always really unattainable anyway, so I never really looked at that and said, like, I want that to be my wedding. I was like, I don't know if I'm ever going to even afford a wedding.

But now that you're seeing so many more people just publicize their lives on social media, you know, you could have a really clear idea of what you want and you could book the vendor or book the space or do whatever and then a month later see somebody post something and you're like oh my god that's what I wanted but it's too late. Where in the past I don't think you really felt that. It was much more like, I don't know, you maybe had a year to plan and in that year it wasn't as easy to be swayed by new things that were happening.

Leah Haslage:

It's nice that your husband got involved. Was he always like from day one of that mentality or is it kind of like as the planning went along he kind of was like, okay, I want to help pick the food. I want to help choose the venue.

Sari Mayer:

I think it was both. He would always kind of joke and be like, it's your day. And I'd be like, no, first of all, it's not. Second, I suffer from decision fatigue like nothing else. And he knows that. So it was always, I think, a way for him to be like, all right, stop ruminating over this. We're making the decision and we're going with it because I'll second guess everything.

Jessica Bishop:

We love a decisive man.

Sari Mayer:

And then, you know, there were definitely things that he, like, truly did not care about and then things that he did. Like, for instance, I kind of started showing him, like, maybe even more than since we were, like, before we were engaged probably, like, kind of just, like, Pinterest mood boards with colors and, like, you know, if we're getting married in this month, this is what I'm thinking. If we're getting married this month, this is what I'm thinking. And he was very much like, cool. Love it. Looks great. And, like, didn't really care.

Jessica Bishop:

He's like, why do the details have to shift based on the season that we're getting married? It's like they don't get it.

Sari Mayer:

And I'm like, because. Colors represent the season. But then there were things like food where he had very clear ideas of what he wanted. Definitely wanted an open bar with specific alcohol. I'm like, I don't know. It could be anything. I don't care. But he totally has that background. So I would say it was definitely a total mix of both. I also think he knew how much pressure the planning really was. And so he was always there to kind of alleviate that and then kind of mixing that with like, but if there's something you really want, I'm going to advocate for you to have it rather than pushing back against it. Because he was like, I don't want to add any more decisions onto your plate.

Leah Haslage:

It's already stressful enough. How did you figure out where you wanted to allocate your budget the most? Because like some people, the food and drink is priority. Some it's the music, some it's flowers. Like where did you and he really find your budget to be the most important?

Sari Mayer:

Yeah, so this is something that I think being in the wedding space helped with the most. Um, because we both, just like even the weddings that we have gone to together, having, like, great food, great drinks, and, like, just a great time on the dance floor were the things that we were after. So we talked about, like, what does it look like for us to do something really small, like maybe an Airbnb somewhere with just our family, or, you know, like, we really looked at a lot of different things, but we kept coming back to, like, a Saturday night, eating great food, dancing the entire time, like that's what we pictured. And so that's what we prioritize. So definitely the venue having food and drink included, not having to bring in any other vendors, but knowing that like really the bulk of our budget was going there truly.

And everything else, like I literally think everything else, flowers, DJ, attire, like everything we were always looking for more of like the savvy way to go for it. You know, our venue gave us a full list of their preferred vendors who are all much more on the luxury side. And I did the due diligence of looking them up and, you know, kind of looking at what their prices were. It's never a bad thing to have somebody who's worked at your venue a ton. Which I ended up actually finding for hair and makeup, which was great. It was not one of their recommended vendors, and she was incredible. But we were looking at all these prices, and we were like, we can definitely find it for less, 100%. And so that was definitely, from day one, we were like, the big bulk is going here. This venue was a dream venue for us.

Jessica Bishop:

It was stunning.

Sari Mayer

We were looking to get married in October. And when we were touring the venue they had a great deal for, I mean really, all the winter months: January, February, March. But we were like how can we get like furthest to the end of March so it's like not a winter wedding. I was like it's an early spring wedding? But they had a great deal and we were like, to get this dream venue at the price point we were then going to be able to get, it was like, that was it, done. We'll figure everything else out from there.

Leah Haslage:

Oh, that's great. So Jess, as one of her best friends and being the budget-savvy bride master and a guest, what was your take on helping her with giving advice and wedding planning and then being a guest?

Jessica Bishop:

Oh, gosh. I mean, I really feel like I came in more towards the end of the planning process. I feel like she had a lot of it figured out. And, you know, of course, I was always like, if you need anything, let me know. But I'm not such a pushy person.

Sari Mayer:

So I'm glad you didn't mention but now I'm going to mention it. Do you remember the text I sent you right when we were… I don't know if we had actually put the deposit down or it was like right before and I was like, I'm freaking out. I don't know what to do. I don't know if I can do this. And you were like, I'm here. Let me know. I was like, oh my god, I don't know. I don't know.

Jessica Bishop:

You were like, are we really going to do this in less than a year? But it was all about the venue. And that venue was so incredible. And I think you absolutely made the right choice. I mean, it really set the stage for the whole day. Just the setup of it was so nice. Like the food was incredible. Having cocktail hour and stuff like for people to mingle and get some food before the actual reception. It was just an amazing day all around.

For me, like, really, it was just incredible to see, like, all the people in her life. Like, so much of our working relationship even has been virtual with me bouncing around to, like, all different parts of the world. And, like, you know, we've always done our podcast remotely until recently. And so, yeah, just getting to be there in person with you and with Ryan and to see all those people around you who love you so much and sharing that was, like, really, really special. I'm such, like, a sap. Like, I'm sorry. I’m about to cry.

Leah Haslage:

I love it. No, I love it. You're going to make us all cry. I love it.

Jessica Bishop:

But yeah, I mean, I think, you know, obviously when you go with an all inclusive venue like that, there's a lot of time and hassle savings in terms of, you know, logistics and decisions to be made and things like that. And then they found ways to save in other areas, you know, doing like a DJ instead of a live band or, you know, the flower option that Sari chose is a savvy one as well. So I think, you know, it's all about balance at the end of the day and that's the thing. It's like everybody's set of circumstances are so unique and different. It's so hard.

I feel like I get asked questions all the time about what's the best thing to do? What should couples be sure to do? And it's like every wedding is like a snowflake and I know that sounds so cheesy, but all the different nuances of like everyone's circumstances are so different and the way they come together and the way that their values and priorities and budget like align in that is so unique to every couple. So I think it's so important to get really clear on what actually matters the most to you and your partner when making all these decisions. And I know that Sari and Ryan took that time and really got clear on those things before they did start making those decisions. And so they really planned a day that was reflective of what they truly wanted. And it was so special to be there.

Leah Haslage:

With being sentimental and you guys as a couple, music is a big aspect of that in a wedding day. You sang at your wedding, did you not?

Sari Mayer:

I did.

Leah Haslage:

What made you decide to sing to your husband?

Sari Mayer:

I've been singing since I was five. I did it professionally pretty much until the pandemic. I'd like to say I'm still going to do it. But it's such a big part of my life. And honestly, my husband and I always talk about it, like having to kind of reframe, like, you know, maybe someone's not paying me to do it on Broadway, but how can I keep that in my life? And the most captive audience you will ever have is your wedding because it's everyone who loves you. It's all of your biggest fans in one room. And so I really just, it was more that, like such a, like a great place to be able to, you know, a lot of his family has never heard me sing and they're even some of mine. And if they have, it's from videos of me when I'm like 10.

It was in the spirit of not just having the wedding day be just like, you know, we're doing the thing, we're getting married, and then we're going to have a reception, and we're just going to go from A to Z, and that's the wedding. But really thinking about if we're going to have everybody here, what are the things that we want? people to come away with or ourselves to come away with. And so I think so much of planning your wedding, it's like maybe the first time you're putting on a host hat and planning this huge event and really taking care of all the people. That's something that Jess has always said that has stuck in my mind. Like as the bride and groom, you're taking care of the people that you're bringing into your wedding. Often, you know, you can stretch how much you can take care of them if the size of the party is smaller, right? If you have less people there, your dollar stretches a little bit further. And we were always conscious of that, but also kind of knew that there was this core number that we weren't going to get below. We were at about 120.

And while thinking about like, what are the things we want them to have? Like, what kind of food do we want everybody to have? I was also like, well, what about us? Like, what are the things that we want? We're investing in this day. It was a thing really honestly for me and for him. It was very special. I still have his face while I'm singing burned into my memory, which is wonderful. But it was like, this is how I want to feel on my wedding day. A lot of people are saying, aren't you going to be nervous all day? I was like, I don't even think about it. Truly, I didn't even hydrate well enough before it. I should have. But I don't know, I feel like I should be coming up with some sort of answer that's different, but I think it was for me.

Jessica Bishop:

That's perfectly okay.

Leah Haslage:

Are you remembering that moment when she was singing to him?

Jessica Bishop:

Of course, because I was in charge of documenting it as well. Which was so fun, and it was the first time I'd ever heard you sing live before, too, so that was really special for me. And I think, too, what's cool about it is like you had this moment to like you're sharing something that means so much to you and you're sharing like one of your gifts, but you're also receiving love and validation. Like my brain is so funny. I'm going back to Glee. I was such a Glee fan. And like Rachel Berry talking about like, I need applause to live. That, like, thrill of being a performer, I just see it so much in people. And just getting to have that validation, getting to receive that love from, like, the people who mean the most to you, like, in a different way than just them being there to witness the wedding day. I think it was really special to witness, and it was a gorgeous performance.

Sari Mayer:

Thank you. I will also say, Jess was sat at the table with, like, the fan club. That's what I'm going to call them. Like, my college theater friends. The vibes were immaculate. and my roommates while I was auditioning. So she was right in the center of it. It's the pictures of them all filming me. There's one of my friend Kimmy, she's crying. It's the best picture ever. It's even that, it's remembering the people who cheered me on so much throughout my performing career and in college and everything, and for them too. I don't know, it was special.

Leah Haslage:

Yeah. That's so personal. How did you choose the song that you sang?

Sari Mayer:

You know, this is like icky cheesy, but in college.

Leah Haslage:

I love cheese, bring it.

Sari Mayer:

I sang At Last by Etta James. And in college we had one acting the song class where we had to kind of stage a scene and sing the song and we did this performance. I remember it was this old ratty couch, but that's what I used for this scene. The idea was you're singing it to your husband. At that time, I was 20, I was like, I have no idea who my husband's going to be or what it's going to feel like to be in love. At that point, it was truly an acting exercise, one that did not come from truth at all. And I've always thought back to that and it is such a timeless song and it just always felt like a good option. Honestly, it was one that my husband and I had talked about for potentially being our first dance song. So knowing that he also, there was time where we were picking our songs. So we were playing songs in the car and both singing along and just figuring it out. So he also knew it well and I was like, I think that makes it perfect.

Leah Haslage:

Did he know you were going to sing, or did you surprise him with that?

Sari Mayer:

He didn't know. I mean, Jess keeps saying he didn't know, but he knew.

Jessica Bishop:

He had to have known, right? I mean, he definitely seemed genuinely surprised and stuff, regardless. How could he not expect you to bust that out? That talent. You don't keep that talent hidden.

Sari Mayer:

Thank you. With my DJ, I had a separate e-mail chain. I was like, keep Ryan off this one. But I would practice in the car so he couldn't hear anything. But it's funny, Jess, I haven't told you this. He told me that he had thought about getting voice lessons and singing also.

Jessica Bishop:

Oh my goodness.

Sari Mayer:

So the thing with Ryan is that he's not like a singer. He's never had voice lessons. He's never sang publicly for anybody. He's great at karaoke. But he has an amazing ability to mimic whoever is singing on the radio. Like he can sound like them. And I, even when we started dating, I was always like telling all my friends, like, you guys, if he's singing a song and it's too high for him, it's out of his range, he'll drop the octave.

So he had, he had said that he was thinking of contacting my voice teacher and like working on it and whatever. And then everything was a little bit, you know, too much, but he did dance. Him and his mom did a full, so his mom is incredible. She still takes ballet every week. And she was never like professionally a dancer or anything. She's a lawyer, she's now a judge, but she was like, the second we were engaged, she was like, okay, are you guys cool with this? Because I want to mash up four different songs and I want to choreograph it. And Ryan was like, okay. So they definitely stole the show with their number.

Leah Haslage:

Wow.

Jessica Bishop:

I loved that.

Leah Haslage:

That's so great. After you picked out a James, how did you guys decide on the song you walk down the aisle to in your first dance and what were they?

Sari Mayer:

We did definitely have a little bit like the aisle songs, we struggled with a bit. We definitely went to our DJ and we were like, can you give us some ideas? We're not sure. I knew I wanted it to be an instrumental version of something. I guess that helped because then we just started looking at instrumental covers of things. I guess that helped narrow it down from there. We also have those Spotify things where you get a Spotify code, but it's for a song. We have one that had been gifted to us, I think, our first year of our relationship, and it's Say You Won't Let Go by James Arthur. We knew that wasn't going to be the first dance song, but we wanted to incorporate it. So that ended up being an aisle song.

Then we truly did, for our first dance, we did a whole research thing. He went and put together a full playlist of songs that we knew and didn't know. and we would just listen to it anytime we had a long car ride for like a month and just gradually like gravitated towards the song that we ended up picking and it was so funny too because at that point then like we were both singing it to each other while we were dancing.

Leah Haslage:

What was the song? What was the first dance song?

Sari Mayer:

So our first dance song was I Choose You by Forrest Black. I had never heard of Forrest Black, had never heard the song. And every time we said I Choose You, everyone was like, oh, the Sara Bareilles song. And I was like, no, not that one, though I do love that song. But yeah, it's great. And there is actually a wedding version, but I said explicitly to our DJ, not the wedding version. I didn't want that one. I don't know why. I guess it's like they took out some of the background and it's very just. I think maybe it's just piano for that. And I was like, I have a vision of it. We did a lightly choreographed first dance, lightly. I sprung it on him because he was like, I have to remember this whole dance with my mom. I can't do anything else. And so it was the week before. And I was like, it's just the chorus. Just follow me. It's fine. And he was like, oh, OK.

Leah Haslage:

And it worked out.

Sari Mayer:

Yes, it did.

Leah Haslage:

We'll be right back after a quick break.

Leah Haslage:

So aside from Budget Savvy Bride, you guys have a great podcast called The Bouquet Toss, which I've been fortunate to be a guest on. And tell us first about that, and then I have some questions about our recent episode.

Jessica Bishop:

Take it away, Sari.

Sari Mayer:

Sure. So the Bouquet Toss is a wedding planning podcast that we started in 2020. Truly, at that point, I'd been working with Jess for, I guess, like three years and doing a bunch of different things, honestly, just like learning from her, supporting her, helping her, doing a lot of social media. I was actually editing a lot of the real weddings. So again, a great way for me to see what people were spending.

Leah Haslage:

Pre-planning.

Sari Mayer:

Uh-huh. And also it's, which we didn't get to mention before, it's also like by location, which is a huge thing because a wedding costs a completely different number depending on what state you're in. It was also just like I had this kind of knowledge in my head and so anytime I would talk to people and they'd be like, you know, I don't know how much are we gonna spend? I'd be like, well, first of all, where do you live? Because it's a huge part of it.

But anyway, I had had some background in podcasting and the pandemic hit and we had been talking about it a little bit, but I was just like, we're doing it, done. Let's do it. And it honestly helped me like I was a self-taught editor and producer and this project helped me completely hone that skill and we just, we did it. And so the premise right behind it is the podcast that helps you decide what to keep and what to toss from your wedding day plans. So we were really into the idea and the whole first season was what are these wedding traditions that we all know.

Leah Haslage:

I love that season. It's so interesting.

Sari Mayer:

Right? And we even went out to gain more research. We're not historians, right? So we were doing tons of research.

Jessica Bishop:

Not by any stretch of the imagination.

Sari Mayer:

Right? On all these traditions. And a lot of them are kind of folklore. Nobody can really pinpoint where a lot of them came from. There's a lot of stories about where people think a lot of it came from. But that's also the interesting thing, because then as you get married, you just accept it as fact or just as, you know, what you think you should do. And you don't really question it. I mean, that's something that the Budget Savvy Bride, like, as a brand, has always been into, is, like, do things that are valuable to you, not that you just think you should do for a wedding.

And we were like, how can we really, like, personify that in a podcast? And so we started with that, truly. Where did this come from? And knowing that, how does that make you feel about it? Do you want to keep it in your plan or do you want to toss it? And from there, we went into trends because those can be sometimes just as if not more misleading. And, you know, we dove into that, like knowing what you know about it. Would you keep it? Would you toss it? And it kind of bloomed from there because there's so much that goes into weddings. We always like to say, like, you can't divorce weddings from life in general. Anything in terms of, like, politics, in terms of interpersonal relationships, in terms of the pricing of things, you know, anything.

Leah Haslage:

The wedding tax, the wedding pricing.

Sari Mayer:

Well, I'll let Jess talk on that because she's got some thoughts on that. But yeah, I mean, you just, you can't separate it from anything else. And so it's like, I feel like we just can't, like, we can't run out of things to talk about because we're constantly looking at like, how do you have an objective eye about what you're seeing in the wedding space and then learn enough about it, internalize it enough to realize how it fits with your own values and then decide if it should be part of your day or not.

Leah Haslage:

Well, speaking of which, this is going to lead to my question about a recent episode. So something that people feel like they have to have, and you don't technically have to, is a bridal party. And you had a professional bridesmaid on. It was so fascinating. So, you know, with that, what did you learn the most from her? What was your biggest takeaway that you hadn't already realized?

Jessica Bishop:

I think for me, the biggest takeaway from our episode with Jen Glantz, who's Bridesmaid for Hire, she's fantastic, is just how much the bridesmaid relationship with the bride can shift throughout the wedding planning process and just the importance of of over-communicating with the people in your wedding party. I think expectations on both sides, right? Especially as we've seen the sort of, like, expectations around bachelorette parties and things like that get so much bigger than they were. Like, of course, I'm showing my age, but, you know, 16 years ago, like, we went out for a night in, like, downtown Nashville to, like, the bars and that was it.

Leah Haslage:

Like to clarify, you're from Tennessee. Like now people are taking trips purposely to Nashville to become like the number one bridesmaid thing.

Jessica Bishop:

Exactly. So I look back and I'm like, wow, how much have those expectations and what is considered normal for a bachelorette party has, has changed so much. And of course, you know, social media wasn't as big of a thing then. And I only really had the frame of reference of the people who were in like my closest friend group. You know, now it's like maybe part of the reason this big extravagance has all been so normalized is really because of social media and because you're seeing other people's weddings and their plans and what they're doing. And then you're thinking, oh, well, if they're doing that, then that's probably normal. Like that's like setting the bar at a certain level. I need to make sure I'm doing that level of thing. And so, yeah, I don't know. I think it's really interesting. But yeah, I do think just realizing how important it is to be upfront about what your expectations are from your bridal party. If you're asked to be in a wedding party, make sure that you're clear on what's expected of you as well.

Sari Mayer:

I have a lot of feelings on this because I feel like there's a big subset of people who see a huge extravagant bachelorette party and they're like, oh my god, how do people do that? How do people even ask somebody to do that? That's insane. They must be seeing all this stuff on social, wanting to have it because they're seeing other people doing it. And while I do think that exists, I also think there are a lot of women who become part of the bridal party. I shouldn't just say women, women and men who are asked to be in a bridal party. And a lot of people are getting married a lot older. And so now people have full jobs and they potentially are single or in a relationship but not married themselves. And they have money to spend on a trip. They want an excuse to go somewhere. And I won't say that going all the way out of the country or somewhere, you know, that may not always be the best on everyone's wallet, right? But I do think it is something people look forward to.

It is something that people, like, honestly, until you have kids, it's something that's a great excuse to get you out of your normal routine and to, like, take your PTO and have some fun. And so I think, you know, it depends on what your bridal party makeup is. If you have a bunch of single friends still and they all are working and they are in that mindset, like they want a jet set, then great. You might also, though, have half like that and then half who have seven kids and, you know, you kind of need to balance it. And so I think it really does depend on, you know, who's in the group and what mindset they're in at the time.

You know, I was talking with a friend actually recently who, she's married, she has a one-year-old, and she was invited on, I think it's like her sister-in-law, like her future sister-in-law's bachelorette. And it was out of state. It was a full, big to-do. I think there were like 15 girls on this trip. And it's a lot. With her one-year-old, she's like, I don't know how I'm doing this. Like, this is crazy. But probably every other girl is five, six years younger than her and they're like, oh my God, it's the summer and I'm going on this amazing trip, right? So it really does depend.

And my biggest takeaway, I think, with speaking with Jen, because to be honest, going into it, I was like, I just don't see it. I don't get how somebody would hire somebody to do this. Why have a bridal party? Why have a bridesmaid if you don't have people that you want in that role? And in talking to her, my opinion changed a lot. And I like to think of myself as a very empathetic, probably to a fault, person, but that was really something that I didn't see. And in talking to her, I get it. I mean, I think you have to, I'm not going to do it justice. I think you have to listen to the conversation to kind of hear how we got to the point.

Jessica Bishop:

It's a whole journey.

Sari Mayer

It's a journey. Yes, I agree. But I now do understand why there are people out there that feel the need to have support that they don't have somebody readily available to provide because it's a very specific kind of support being a bridesmaid.

Leah Haslage:

So if someone's struggling with trying to figure out if they want to have a bridal party and if they do, who do they choose? Because, you know, you have family members, you have childhood friends, sorority sisters, co-workers, like how do you choose your bridal party? Because like you said earlier, relationships do change over the years too. And during wedding planning, it definitely changes.

Sari Mayer:

Yeah. I think as all things, and Jess would probably say this too, there really are not any rules. Specifically, I like to think about that in life, but specifically with weddings. So I don't think we can sit here and say, here's the steps to picking your bridal party, which is very distinctly different from picking your guest list. And actually in Jess's book, in the Budget Savvy Wedding Planner and Organizer, there's actually like a graph, like a map of like answer yes or no to these questions to figure out if this person should go to your wedding. And I think that holds, that holds up.

But I think for a bridal party, for everybody, it's going to be different. I'm somebody who, you know, I did have the thought of like, I don't want to look back on pictures and be like, why was this person there? And I didn't have that worry for myself, to be honest. So I shouldn't say it that way, but I feel like if somebody were to ask me, like, well, what do I do? Like, what if I'm not friends with this person in 10 years? And it's like, you'll have enough pictures that they're not in that, like, it really won't matter. But it's like the same thing if, like, someone brings a plus one that they, like, just started dating and you're like, oh my god, but they're gonna be in my pictures and I don't know them. And it's like, whatever. At this point, you can edit people out. Like, the technology is there.

I think, though, with a bridal party, I think it's like, you need to know what you want it for. Like, is it because you just think you're supposed to take pictures with a whole bunch of people and that's the reason or is it because you want the chance to have a select group of people get to know each other better and get to support you on the day via their strengths, right? I think the function of my bridal party was not just wedding day. To be fair, knowing that I had Jess to do a lot of those things on wedding day, I was a little bit less concerned with what my bridal party was going, like how they were going to function on day of because not everybody has a wedding expert in their life. So I can't say, prescribe this to anyone else, but like, I knew that I was going to have that. So I wasn't really concerned with like day of what are they doing.

Leah Haslage:

How many did you choose for your bridal party?

Sari Mayer:

I had seven.

Leah Haslage:

So before we get to the final fun question, do you have any piece of budget savvy advice you want to throw out in the universe right now for anyone planning? You can give one budget savvy tip right now, both of you.

Jessica Bishop:

I mean, for me, so much of it comes back to your guest list, right? Like that's truly one of the biggest factors into how much your wedding is going to cost. And so it can be a painstaking activity that you have to share with your partner, like nailing down on that guest list. But that's going to be something that, you know, applies to every aspect of what you're going to spend.

Leah Haslage:

And like Sari said, your graph is very helpful.

Jessica Bishop:

I do think that's helpful. And just also just thinking about the people who you want surrounding you on the day who are truly going to make you feel loved and appreciated and celebrated. And bringing it back to like an OG Bridechilla term, because for history, like I've been on the Bridechilla podcast actually a few times back with the previous host, Aleisha. And one thing that she always talked about was like we're not doing obligation guests. And I think that that's like so key is like anybody who you're adding to that guest list who you're doing so out of a feeling of like, oh, I have to, but I don't really want to. Maybe reconsider.

Leah Haslage:

It just sounds ick. Like hearing you say it, just like such an ick feeling of like, oh, I don't want to see them on my important day or I don't want to deal with their drama.

Sari Mayer:

Yeah. I mean, Jess always says too, like if you would not take this person out to dinner and pay for it, like just you and them. then you shouldn't invite them because that's essentially what you're doing.

Leah Haslage:

That is what you're doing. That is such a great tip. Great way of framing that. I'm sure there's some people that can get a really low per plate, but like average per plate anymore is, I mean, it's been years since I got married now, but I think at that point the most affordable was like $85 a head. But they average a hundred and something up. Yeah. And sure. Now with inflation, everything else. So do you want to spend $200? We'll just say throw that number out there on their meal and drinks. Great way of putting it. Okay. So final question. What is your favorite? And if you have a least, we can add that too, TV or movie wedding dress or attire?

Sari Mayer:

My favorite is a movie wedding dress. Mia Thermopolis in the Princess Diaries 2.

Leah Haslage:

Oh, wow!

Sari Mayer:

And I will say, my dress was nothing like this. But I was definitely like... Side note, Princess Diaries 2 is the best movie. My sister and I love this movie. We can quote it. And now we're getting her daughter into it. She's four and she asks to watch it all the time. So that was like a formative thing for me for a while. And I was always like, this is what it's going to be. It's like, it's a drop waist. it's off the shoulder but there's like lace… So it's like a satin dress and there's like a lace long sleeve thing over it. I'm like butchering that, and in my head which you don't see in the movie but in my head you could take off the lace for like the party and it would be like two looks. That definitely changed as I got older.

Leah Haslage:

I was gonna say it wasn't your inspo when you went wedding dress shopping?

Sari Mayer:

Oh my god, not at all, which now I'm kind of curious why I didn't even just try something on like that. I will say the idea of something being like a two look because you can like remove something. I went out wanting that and then I just didn't find it. It just didn't end up being what I went with. And I mean, I'm still so obsessed with my dress. I just want to wear it all the time.

Leah Haslage:

Your dress is gorgeous. I saw the photos. And I love that you took your mom. Was it your mom's wedding dress to make as your rehearsal?

Sari Mayer:

Yes, I did. I took my mom's wedding dress and I turned it into a three-piece outfit for my rehearsal dinner. That's awesome. And that, too, I need an excuse to wear over and over because it came out just beyond my expectations.

Jessica Bishop:

Like high fashion couture.

Leah Haslage:

What a beautiful way to honor your mom.

Sari Mayer:

I know, right? And she knew I was doing it. I had to be like, Mom, where's your wedding dress? I need it. And she was like, I don't know. I also feel like it might be completely yellow at this point. I don't know if you can even use it. And we took it out of the box, and it was totally usable. I mean, nothing was faded. The color wasn't yellowed at all. So she was shocked by that. And I wanted to do a big reveal day of, but we're too close. There's no boundaries. It was never going to happen. She was never not going to see it before.

Leah Haslage:

There's no boundaries.

Sari Mayer:

There's not. But I did do like a big, not big, but like a reveal to her just like in the house, like close your eyes, I'm coming out, show you, you know, but so she saw it before the day and she was just like, I can't, like, I can't believe that's my dress. Like, but yeah, so I didn't end up even trying on anything like it, which a little bit now I'm like, can I just go try on dresses just to try that on? Cause that'd be fun. But Princess Diaries 2.

Leah Haslage:

Love it. Jess, what’s yours?

Jessica Bishop:

You're going to kill me. I still haven't watched it.

Sari Mayer:

Now I want to go back into the archive of our like 75 plus episodes and find the episode where I yelled at you.

Jessica Bishop:

Oh, I've told you I was going to watch it. I just haven't followed through. I'm sorry. I've been watching the Eras tour on repeat on Disney+. It's my comfort show.

Leah Haslage:

There's a wedding I'm waiting for.

Jessica Bishop:

I know, right? So my favorite wedding dress from a TV show or movie. The first thing that came to mind for me was Parks and Recreation. Leslie Knope and Ben because they had an intimate wedding in their place of work where they met. So it was very sentimental to them and they did it because they just wanted to and with the people they were closest to and she kind of threw together a dress last minute that had like newspaper articles from like all of her accomplishments.

I just thought it was so meaningful, and it wasn't necessarily that it was the most gorgeous dress or anything like that, but you know, like I've said, I'm a bit of a sap, so I just loved the meaning behind it and how personal that was.

Leah Haslage:

It's one of my favorite couples.

Jessica Bishop:

I know, like they're just an iconic couple. Like their proposal was so magical like it makes me want to cry just thinking about those scenes. But yeah, that's one that really sticks out for me more so for the meaning of it than necessarily like the style. But I do love sort of like when brides choose something a bit more non-traditional and that really represents their personality. And so I really, really love that and it really stood out to me.

Leah Haslage:

You saying that, it's not my favorite TV wedding outfit of all time, but I really loved Miranda on Sex and the City when she and Steve got married. And she wore that chocolatey brown, auburn-ish type suit, and it was fall, and just like right there in the park around the corner from their house. Like that gives me that same vibe as like the Parks and Rec, just super personal, very much their style, like, and budget savvy.

Jessica Bishop:

Budget-savvy indeed.

Sari Mayer:

Yeah. I do have one, not that I hate, not that it's my least favorite, but that I was disappointed by. Monica on Friends.

Leah Haslage:

So I waver because it's my all-time favorite show. Same. I go back and forth between is it like one of my top three favorites or am I that disappointed because like it's kind of basic but I also kind of like simple so it's like, agh.

Sari Mayer:

I know. I don't want to put any hate on Basic, but the whole lead up to their wedding is like them discovering that Chandler has all this money that he's going to spend on the wedding. And like, not that I think that they should, like they literally are like spending his savings, which makes absolutely no sense. It's like anything we do not stand for at The Budget Savvy Bride. And even like she goes dress shopping and like makes you know makes the fighting with the dressing…

Jessica Bishop:

Yeah, the running of the dresses.

Leah Haslage:

And then that woman stole her dress.

Sari Mayer:

The woman steals her dress and that dress was much more intricate. It just didn't feel Monica to me. And, like, the bridesmaid dresses.

Leah Haslage:

It was clean.

Sari Mayer:

It was clean. Very clean.

Leah Haslage:

I like the bridesmaid dresses. I usually don't like a bunch of florals and prints and stuff.

Sari Mayer:

Well, see, I do.

Leah Haslage:

It was so subtle and beautiful. And the simple flowers and their hair up, like, it was great.

Sari Mayer:

It was amazing. And I was just like, that, it doesn't match her. Yeah. Her choice. The vibe. Yeah. Yeah. She also, like, I love it because she goes from, like, a nice little updo to her hair down. And I would love everyone to be able to do that, but it's so clearly filmed on two different days and it makes me mad.

Jessica Bishop:

Yeah, the realisticness of that on an actual wedding day when you've got like gallons of hairspray to keep your hair up.

Sari Mayer:

Yeah, I don't know who has hair that can do that.

Leah Haslage:

Thank you guys so much for being here. I really appreciate it. And I could talk all day about TV movie weddings with you, as you know, because that's what I came on your show about. It's like celebrities disrupting. So yeah, let's talk more another time, because this is the fun stuff. But it's also the stuff that influences us when choosing our stuff for our weddings. Like, let's be real, right? When we see celebrities, we see these movies. And there's a lot of great ones out there. Thanks again, and how can we find you?

Jessica Bishop:

Yeah, you can find us all over social media at Budget Savvy Bride. We're on Instagram, TikTok, all the places. And TheBudgetSavvyBride.com, the Bouquet Toss podcast.

Sari Mayer:

Yeah, so the Bouquet Toss is also now on Love Stories TV. And so you can watch us on YouTube on the Love Stories TV channel. We also stream across the Fast channels, so Roku, Freevi, Tubi. You can see our faces there on your TV. And then you can also listen to the show on Apple, Spotify, anywhere you're finding Bridechilla as well.

Leah Haslage:

I love it, and I love you girls. See you soon.

Jessica Bishop:

Thank you so much.

Sari Mayer:

Thank you.

Leah Haslage:

Thanks for joining us today! Be sure to subscribe wherever you get podcasts so you never miss an episode. Give us a follow on social media and visit thebridechilla.com. To leave a question you'd like to hear answered on the show, head to speakpipe.com/bridechillapodcast, also linked in the description.

Bridechilla is a production of Evergreen Podcasts. Thanks to our producer and engineer, Gray Sienna Longfellow, and our executive producers, Brigid Coyne and Gerardo Orlando. And of course, a special thanks to Aleisha, our OG bridechilla, and Meghan Ely of OFD Consulting. I'm your host, Leah Haslage. Until next time, Chillas!