427- Finding the Right Wedding Planner with Diane Kolanović-Šolaja

Leah Haslage:

Welcome to the Bridechilla Podcast. I'm your host, Leah Haslage. Whether you're just starting to plan or you're counting down the days, I'm here to help you stay cool, calm, and collected throughout the wedding journey. So let's get this wedding party started and embrace your inner Bridechilla.

Hey chillas, welcome back. And today we're welcoming back our friend, Diane Kolanović-Šolaja, who is the owner of Dee Kay Events. So excited to have you back.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

Hi, thank you so much. I'm so thrilled to be back. How exciting.

Leah Haslage:

And so last time you were on the show, you started to spill the tea about your personal wedding planner experience and how it actually led to your career. So let's kick off with telling everyone your kind of horror story that led to you helping other couples?

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

Absolutely, absolutely. When I got engaged, I was currently working at some really big law firms and I was doing corporate planning, right? So, for the marketing department, doing huge galas in New York City, you know, doing their educational programs, things like that. So when I got engaged and went into the planning part, I already knew that one, I can probably do it all. But my fiance, my now husband, was like, you don't want to work that day. And I'm like, oh, yeah, you know what? I need the help, right? Ding, ding, ding, right?

So I actually asked our photographer, who I still adore, and he's the best, and we still keep in touch. It's really, really fun. And we've worked together on weddings now, like afterwards, which is kind of cool. And he gave me a recommendation and I trusted it and we met with them and it seemed great and they seemed on top of things. And, you know, I told them, I'm like, listen, my expectations are probably like over and above this, right? It's what I do. I do it for a living. I just don't want to do it for myself, for my wedding, right? And at the time, like all my friends were already asking me to like, cause it was that aged, like inner group where everybody was getting engaged and married, right? Everyone was already asking me for help. Like, can you do this? Can you do this? And I'm like, yeah, of course, of course, of course. So it sort of became like a natural thing. Like, yeah, no problem. I'm already doing it and getting paid for it, you know, at a law firm. It's all good.

So when we met, I was very excited. My husband was like, I mean, okay, I guess it's fine. Like he didn't really have that much input. He had more input on other things. He just knew that he didn't want me to be overwhelmed and things like that.

Leah Haslage:

You should be able to focus on your day.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

Correct. Correct. Which was the whole point of it, right? So, you know, we did partial planning because everything was just about done, they did take care of my flowers, like my personal flowers, like the bouquets, and for the wedding party as well. So when it came to the wedding day, or close to the wedding day, right? So they had a system where, I mean, way back then, I forgot what it was called, but it was sort of just a whole bunch of checklists, right? And to go through-

Leah Haslage:

Like a year in, six months in, three months in.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

Correct, correct. So I didn't feel much use out of it, right? Because some people do things differently. Right. So I'm just saying that because it's going to influence how I do my process. So, you know, the checklist, like I would get and I'm like, okay, it's fine. Right. And then, you know, I'm working in the city where we both were working full time. We had crazy schedules, just like most people today. It didn't really get to my goals. So like the last two weeks, I'm just like, oh my God, I'm like, what are we doing? You know, but it was fine. It was like everything, like whatever. I was still up late, like writing cards to my wedding party. Like it's fine. Right.

But the day of the wedding is where it kind of just started to unravel. So in the morning, we're getting ready. I have my dress on. We were about to do some photos with my bridesmaids and things like that. And I get a call from my planner saying that the transportation wasn't paid for. And I'm like, that check was cashed a month ago, one month. Like, why are you calling me? Isn't this what wedding day management is? Like, well, you know, they said that you didn't pay. I'm like, well, I did, and you know that, and why didn't you like compare the pricing, right?

Leah Haslage:

And you're like, I literally have the receipts.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

So that was like the first thing. And they refused to, like, you know, they were gonna refuse to pick us up, right? So one of my dearest friends, who we just visited, literally got on the phone and she's like, give me the vendor's name. I'm like, fine. At that point, my wedding party, like I knew something was happening, right? But I couldn't figure out and they're like, don't worry, it's all good. Everything's fine. I'm like, okay. In retrospect, right? Like afterwards, they told me like what happened. She just refused to call. the transportation and just took it as like final word, right? Because I don't think she actually went and did like going, you know, calling all the vendors and making sure that all the payment...

Leah Haslage:

Just double check everything, make sure everything is good to go.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

Right. So I don't think she did that because I never got anything that said that she did whatever. I know it's like insane. So, so then what happened was, is we had a smaller van because we had a lot of people coming up from California that were staying. So we actually rented a van for like three days. And it just so happens that one of our best friends is a driver out in Hollywood. So he's like, I got this. I'll just drive the whole wedding party. It's fine. So they figured out their plan B. But my friend was still on the phone with them. She's like, I need you to look up this account because she paid. I promise you. And guess what? 15 minutes later, they're like, oh, we're so sorry. We're sending the vehicle. So that was the first thing.

Leah Haslage:

Oh my God.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

The second thing was the hotel wasn't notified that our request for taking photos on the roof was going to happen because it was a separate restaurant, which she was supposed to confirm. So now I'm pleading with the maitre d' of the restaurant to let us in for 15 minutes to get these beautiful photos, right?

Leah Haslage:

Where is she at this point?

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

I'm not sure because I did not see her. I didn't see her in the morning. I didn't see her. The first time I saw her face was at literally like 9 p.m. on the wedding day, okay? Because no, that's, you know what? No. Because I had to have gotten my flowers because she did my flowers. But to like talk to her at the venue, it wasn't till like 9pm. Right? And at that point, I'm like, yeah, at that point, I'm like, I'm good. I'm like, um, you know. So anyways, wedding party figured out the transportation, right? I talked to the maitre d' we got my beautiful photos of rooftop New York City. I mean, it was very super iconic, gorgeous. I'm like obsessed with those photos, right?

Leah Haslage:

And you're friends with the photographer that took them?

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

Yeah. Yeah. And he's like, he's wonderful, you know, and, um, you know, as a vendor now on the other side, right. I can understand this next part. Right. So after the, we had a ceremony in this cathedral in New York city. Afterwards, we're driving and we got married down the shore, right? Now, I came into this telling her, like, logistically, this, like, I've done this a million times because I'm, that's where our parish is, that's where we go, you know, like, our family and friends are used to this big gap in the middle of the day. So we didn't have our first look, you know, the first look was, you know, down the aisle, right? Very traditional, very cool. And then we were going to do fun down the shore photos on the boardwalk with the wedding party, right?

When we're driving and we had the party bus and it was great and we're having fun, I just remembered waiting there. I'm like, what are we waiting for? I just don't, whatever, this feels kind of long. So finally the photographer is like, so sorry, we're here. Come on, let's pop out. We were just a little bit delayed on the timeline. And I'm like, that's fine. He's like, I don't think we're going to get the ride photos, but I promise you these photos here at the inlet are going to be wonderful. I'm like, cool, awesome. A professional, right? He didn't say a word. So we took our photos. They're gorgeous. I love them. We get on time to the venue. You know, we have that a little the little half an hour prior like, you know just to relax cocktail hour blah blah blah and when I when we got to the venue our maitre d took over and he's amazing right? And he was just like don't worry, dessert tables is all up, blah, blah, blah, blah, because I went there three days prior with a map, a visual exactly of where I wanted all my candy, right? And back then, like candy bars were like a huge thing, right?

Leah Haslage

Yeah.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

So, so I literally, I like me and my husband dropped it off. I had it labeled and I have a map and I still have these pictures that I sent to them, right? And then the maitre d was just asking me some questions like, oh, so, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, I don't, I'm like, that should have been dropped off, I don't understand, right? It was just, he's like, don't worry, we'll figure it out, it's fine. So in the end, right, like from a bride and groom perspective, we had the best day ever, right? Because we literally prepped ourselves in saying that nothing is gonna ruin our day, nothing, right? And that was more in prep for like family drama, right? Like no one's going to give us their opinion. It doesn't matter. You know, it's we're going to have fun. We'll ignore everyone, you know, blah, blah, blah. So it all worked out. Right. But then, great wedding. I mean, there's a great story like the after party, like somebody lost their Louboutin. And Ellen, we love you. It's totally fine. It's in the ocean. But it was very, very fun. And that transportation showed up now. Everyone was paid. It was fun. So yeah, there was just a whole bunch of stuff that shouldn't have been happening because there was no call the week before to go over the details of blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Leah Haslage:

Was that in hindsight a red flag that you didn't notice at the time? Correct.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

Correct, in hindsight, right? There just wasn't a final phone call where, okay, so who's doing this and who's doing that and who's responsible for this, blah, blah, blah, blah, right? It was just getting these incessant checklist items that I just didn't look at. I did, right?

Leah Haslage:

Right. But you have so much going on at one time and it's not supposed to be your job to have to be on this. That's why you're paying her.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

Also, as a vendor now, It should just be a layer to the reminder. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Like it's also the phone calls. It's also your checklist. It's also talking on the phone. And the week of, at least for my clients, we're texting like crazy, you know, because everyone is different. Right.

Leah Haslage:

So cross your T's, make sure everything's good. Exactly.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

So it was the best day ever, you know, we head off to our honeymoon two days later and we get this email from the planner. And when I tell you I am sitting in my hotel room in Barcelona, exhausted, okay, because we just went through this whirlwind of amazingness. We had family from Croatia, from Brazil, from California. Everyone was just, Chile, everyone was there and at our house and we just brought everyone back to the airport and we were just on cloud nine. We're like, oh my God, this is Barcelona, we're gonna go on this awesome Mediterranean adventure, blah, blah, blah.

And she writes me saying… the main focus was is that I was the problem and that I'm the one that dropped the ball on my wedding day and that the maitre d' of the venue called me a bridezilla. When I tell you. Now, like so many years later, and after like, you know, an adult diagnosis of ADHD, like what I was feeling, right? I mean, I just, instant tears. Like I was just like, my day was ruined for 24 hours, 48 hours, whatever, on my honeymoon. Because I couldn't get it, like I was so hyper-focused on it, I couldn't get it out of my head. I'm just like, who says that to somebody, right? I'm like, it was straight up like mean girl shit, you know? And I'm just like…

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

Especially after she fucked up.

Leah Haslage:

Yeah, and I'm like- So many times.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

Yeah, and now this is, we're talking 12 years ago for partial planning. I paid you a lot of money, dude. I hate you a lot. For an event that I told you from the get, I am a type A, this is what I do for a living for corporate. Like, I know what I'm doing. I have a huge wedding party. I have a lot of family, okay? The logistics are insane. And I have opinionated my family members. Like, I was crystal clear on what you should expect from my side, right?

Leah Haslage:

Sounds like she just wanted that paycheck.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

Yeah. Yeah, you know, so I was just, you know, I was very upset, right? But eventually, obviously I got over it and blah, blah, blah. So all I did was I just emailed the venue and I'm like, listen, I would really love to come in and chat when we're back from the honeymoon, right? And they're like, absolutely. So awesome honeymoon. We fucked off for like probably way too long, but it didn't matter because when you get married, honeymoons don't cost anything, duh.

Leah Haslage:

I'm glad you were able to get it out of your head though enough to enjoy the rest of the honeymoon.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

Yeah, I mean like when every person is like, congratulations on your wedding and giving you like a free bottle of champagne. I mean like, I'll be fine, you know? I'll be totally fine. You know, I threw a couple of texts to my friends and they're like, what? Like, what are you talking about? You know, and I'm like, I don't know. It's just like so insane, right? So we come back home, I go to the venue, and we sit down, and they tell me their version of the story, right? The maitre d' did not call me a bridezilla. What he said to the planner was, you better get your ass here or you'll have a bridezilla on your hands. Right?

Because what had happened was, and the reason I didn't see her till like 9pm, is that she left her car keys in New York City, in my photographer's car, right? So the photographer left, right? He was on time. But because he's an amazing vendor and trying to help his people, right? Because a vendor team on the day of is like family for Christ's sake, you know what I'm saying?

Leah Haslage:

Yeah, yeah.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

And everyone's just trying to help everybody. He was so nice to literally turn around and drop off the keys and come back, which is why I don't have those boardwalk photos for my wedding day, like on the rides and stuff, right? So I'm like trying to process this and I'm just like, wait, what? You know, and at the wedding, which is, I always reference the 9pm, she works with her husband, right? So he comes up to my husband, my brand new husband, right? Just said I do and goes, Oh my God, you know, I don't know what he said, but he basically was like, oh, so-and-so is so upset, she's downstairs in the cocktail room. And my husband was like, wait, who's upset? He's like, my wife. I'm like, where is she? He's like, no, no, no, like the planner. And my husband's like, first of all, I don't give a fuck if she's upset, right? Like, what are you trying to tell me here? I don't understand.

Leah Haslage:

Right.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

Like, I don't understand what's happening. She's like, oh, well, she's downstairs. And, you know, and like we were late on the timeline and whatever. And he's like, listen, I just really don't want to see you for the rest of the day. Like, we don't like we're good. Like, just go home. Yeah, right? So that was the thing is that, you know, she left her keys in the car. I mean, this was 2012. This wasn't like, you know, 1990.

Leah Haslage:

Didn't you say last time too that she tried to take, you mentioned the candy bar. Didn't she try to take credit for your candy bar?

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

Yeah, she took credit. She wanted to take credit. She's like in that email, she was like, oh, you know, we set up the candy bar. I'm like, no, you didn't. And like the maitre d literally was like, no, we did it. She like looked it over, you know, because it has to be on their table anyway. And they rolled it in and rolled it out and whatever and blah, blah, blah. So she, I think she was just super overwhelmed with whatever was happening. Right. And then she said, because she did my, my flowers. Right. And I thought they were beautiful. I didn't take that away from her. They were gorgeous. I love them.

But there has to be some sort of like in between of like you you weren't there. I didn't see you all day. This is an issue. So she said that if she would have known, she would have booked a hotel room in New York City, right? But because, you know, like I was, you know, I didn't wanna pay for it. I'm like, you never gave me an option. Like you never said the logistics of this wasn't gonna work for you.

Leah Haslage:

Did she take any responsibility?

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

Zero responsibility. So, and that is like 99% of my issue is just be like, I'm so sorry. Like this is my wedding day. Like this isn't like, Like, I'm sorry I messed up your job. Like, I don't, I don't think that's how this goes. Like you weren't there. I didn't see your face. I hardly remember you. And it's unfortunate that like your husband is in like two of my photos. Okay.

Leah Haslage:

Really?

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

Yeah. Like he's in the background, like, you know, of like some shots, you know, but it's funny because they're in the background of like, we're all dancing and partying after dinner because that's when they showed face. I'm like, oh, okay. I just don't think we were a match. I think personality wise, I don't think we were a match. And it's something that I take very, very seriously when I like have sales calls now. Right. You know, maybe she was a little bit green or, you know, because there was a lot of logistics on this part. Right.

Leah Haslage:

Did you happen to notice any of it when you were first talking to her or was it just kind of like, well, my friend, the photographer trusts her enough to recommend.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

Right. I just trusted our photographer fully that I just was like, oh, well, if he is coming from him, I, you know, absolutely. And guess what? I think she does. You know, at the time, I think she did great design. Right. But I just think it was a different client because some people rather have all the beautiful details. And I did, too. Right. And I took care of that prior. Right. I mean, to the point that, you know, one of my awesome friends is a graphic designer and we designed the entire invitation suite bespoke. Right. Like we did the entire thing, like our escort cards were completely bespoke, you know? So it just, like, I love those details. That's what I wanted to do for my wedding. I just didn't want to be the one calling the transportation. Like you should have, like, you know, done that for us, right?

If you left your keys, how is that my issue? Like you should have known, like, you know, so just like take a cab, dude, like take an Uber, like Uber existed, dude.

Leah Haslage:

Figure it out.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

Like, you know, that's a business sentence. Am I wrong? Yeah. Like, or leave your husband, right, in New York City to figure out the keys, you know, and go by yourself. Like, I just, you know, things happen, right? And you just have to be prepared to kind of pivot and do things and whatever and blah, blah, blah. And not, like, impact the couple's timeline, right?

Leah Haslage:

And then don't blame the couple that the timeline's off.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

I know. I know, and I'm just like, shouldn't you know that, first of all, every timeline is going to be off by a little bit?

Leah Haslage:

Yeah, this is a good point for everyone listening. Your timeline, at some point, will get thrown off for whatever reason. Do not panic.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

And any vendor that you work with is probably going to pad that timeline without you even knowing. which is what I do. And I tell all my clients that. I'm like, listen, here's your timeline. I don't give them a super detailed like vendor crazy one where I'm like reminding my assistants, like don't forget to give the bride water. Don't forget to have her lunch, you know, things like that. But they get the overall one. So they just kind of know. And I make a note. I'm like, listen, all you have to worry about is to wake up, have that mimosa if you want it, and just get your hair and makeup done. We got the rest, right?

And I will not approach clients unless it's like a dire situation. like absolute dire, like where I need, that I need them to know that I'm going to be charging their credit card extra for something, right? Or if a vehicle broke down, right? I'll be like, listen, it's going to be 20 minutes. We're totally fine. Just take a break, sit down with your girls, whatever, right? This is why I've had the timeline, right? Because you never know. Or weather, or whatever, and blah, blah, blah, right? But never, ever would I have the audacity to blame the couple for my fuck-ups. And to call them that, like, in the first email, like, you know, at least just be like, hey, I know you're in your honeymoon. I would really like to talk about what happened when you get back.

Leah Haslage:

Right. Common sense. Common sense.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

Common courtesy. Human to human, we're talking about, right?

Leah Haslage:

We'll be right back after a quick break.

Leah Haslage:

So when someone is looking to hire a planner, what are some clues or some things you should ask or look for to make sure that you are a match of the same? Yeah, because you're type A, but you want someone that's even more type A than you or if you're laid back and you want that, you know, what should you look for?

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

I think from the very beginning, I think you need to be honest with yourself. and realize that if you're already talking to a planner, you already know that you're gonna be putting certain things on them, right? So I ask my clients, like, are you into email? Would you rather text? Like, what's your thing, right? Ask your planner if they don't ask you.

How many meetings are we gonna have? Tell your planner this, your future planner is like, I have a very busy job. I may not be able to get on calls until like 9 p.m. Does that work for you? You know, I'm going on vacation in two or three months. What do I have to get done before that? Because the more you tell your planner, the better they're going to serve you in that timeline. So, you know, I have some pretty high-end clients that love to travel. So I always ask them, I'm like, what are your travel plans for the next six months? What are your travel plans prior? When have we scheduled the bachelorette? When are we scheduled, you know, shower parties or whatever is coming up? Because I need to make sure that they have enough time to complete the tasks that they have to do, right? That's number one.

Number two, ask them about their life. Like, I know it's silly, but ask them how they became a planner. Ask them what they're passionate about, as if you're going on a first date. Yeah, that's a job interview. Yeah, it's absolutely. It's an interview because there's a lot of people out there that are really great at marketing. Right. But not really great at bringing the service. And we can say what we want about like online reviews and, you know, stuff like that and blah, blah, blah. But those reviews are probably people that matched well that person's personality. Or that vendor had a very awesome sales process where they kind of you know, keep eliminating people that know that they wouldn't be able to serve, right?

So I think if you're searching for a planner that has a really detailed inquiry form, it's for a reason, OK? Because they're trying to figure out if their talent and their time is going to be respected enough to actually serve you best. Because sometimes people will just go onto somebody's website and be like, oh, too expensive. No, thank you. Right. Well, it's probably for a reason. OK. If you go to a wedding planning website, that is gonna tell you they're giving you partial planning for $1,500, I will literally tell you it is not gonna be what you think it's going to be, okay? I don't care what market you're in.

Leah Haslage:

I'm actually glad you just said that. So for those not familiar, because some people may not have the budget to go in and have the full, from the beginning, planning, right? Because it's a lot, even though a planner can save you money in the long run. It is a lot up front. But there are other options like partial planning. I did a month out day of. So talk about those different options that people have that can maybe find in their budget that can be helpful.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

Yeah. So full planning, at least for us for Dee Kay events, is you come to us with zero sort of like artful vision in your brain and you need help, right, design-wise. You know, your Pinterest board has like a million different colors. It's just like a mishmash and you just want to really focus in on like one detail, right? And usually full planning also includes you haven't found your venue yet because venue shopping is very, very intricate because of dates and budgets and whatnot.

Partial planning will put you into, you already booked your venue, right? And maybe a couple of other vendors and possibly, you know what? I definitely just went into this too fast and now I need all the help with figuring out my numbers, figuring out, you know, where I'm gonna allocate my money best. Do I want the design? Do I not want it? You know, whatever's important. I just need sort of somebody on my side as a third party to help me kind of recognize what I need and what's important, right?

And then wedding day management is what I call sort of like your month out. I don't do month out because it gets a little too chaotic and I think it's not the level of service that I bring for my clients. So we do wedding day management that starts 90 days before your wedding. This way, everyone is on a call at least once a month and then the last month you get, you know, weekly calls and then the week of, right? And then again you get our, you know, our virtual office, you get all of that inside. So this way everyone is a little bit more compact because what I have found is is that it's more of the scheduling of the other vendors, like final month calls.

And when we do our, what I call our event management overview, because it's not just a timeline, we also provide that to everybody prior to the last phone calls with everybody else, right? So we try to kind of make the presentation for you, so you don't have to repeat the same information to like eight other vendors.

Leah Haslage:

This is why a planner is worth every penny.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

100%. Like it's project management. Like it's not, it's honestly the logistical part of wedding planning is project management. And if you do that for a living, okay, you know how complicated it is, right? But you also are in a corporate structure and probably have a team of like 20 under you. So why you wouldn't want to do this for your wedding, I understand because some people think they can do it all. But if you do have the means, like wedding planning should be the first thing that you look at. Because they're going to help you. They're on your team. They're not against you. I promise.

Leah Haslage:

They can help save you money with different things.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

Yeah. And it's not even about saving the money. It's the time. And time is money, right? Time is money, yes. Do you want to sit there and research all of these venues and if they're in your budget and call them and see when they're available and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah? It's like four months of work.

Leah Haslage:

It's overwhelming.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

Yeah. Meanwhile, you come to us, we have a full spreadsheet, right? We have all the contacts. Hey, Bobby, what's up? Do you have these dates available? Okay, great. I bring those dates back. Do these dates work for you? Awesome, let's do that one. Boom, you have a wedding date. That's the subtle difference, right? Now, every plan or every business is different. Mine is a little bit more involved and it's more, I love to give you the options, right? So you don't have to do the research. And I think that just brings a little bit of higher end where When you walk into a restaurant and you're going to a chef's tasting type of thing, right? Like, the chef already is like, I know exactly what you want. Here are your options, you know? It's very involved. Make sure that you like each other, too. Like, when you're doing these interviews, like, you're going to be talking to them so much. Like, don't you want them to, like, be a great colleague?

Leah Haslage:

Right? You know? I'm on social media with mine. They're awesome. Shout out to Melissa and Melanie. What are some red flags that you should look for? I mean, attitude is an obvious one, but are there other like subtle red flags that you should be keeping in mind?

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

Honestly, pricing off the bat.

Leah Haslage:

If it's too low, it's too good to be true?

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

It's usually too good to be true and it's probably not what you're expecting. And also like too high too, right? Because you don't want to put all your eggs in one basket and be like, oh gosh, like I don't have now for my photographer or something like that. So you'd really need to find somebody who's within your range. Right? And do the work and educate yourself on that.

Leah Haslage:

Yeah. And we can't say pricing because everywhere is going to be so different by city, country, region.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

And different markets, too. Like, just be aware that, you know, if you're on either coast, like, you're going to be taking out, like, it's literally like a deposit on a house. You know, for each vendor, not just your entire wedding. So it's really different, right? Also, not really much a red flag, but if you see them not posting on social media and like, I'm the worst at this, it doesn't mean that they're not like this active person, right? They may just really be busy because it's summertime. Yeah.

Leah Haslage:

It's wedding season, so it's the last thing on their list.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

Yeah, so if you're trying to vet planners via social media or whatever, see who they've posted with, right? So check their old posts, see what florists they work with, see what venues they've worked at. Because I know everybody does that anyway, but it's really, really good to see. It doesn't mean that they've fallen off the face of the earth. It's just that they probably are just really busy because it's summertime.

And another red flag is process. I just feel if they're sending you a proposal in the mail that you need to sign back, I'm not doing that. It's 2024. I get it though. Some people don't want to accept credit cards. I just feel vendors should accept as best as they can to make people's lives easier, because that's what we're there for.

Leah Haslage:

I'm so glad you said that. I just had a flashback. I got screwed with that with my photographer. That was a red flag early on that I should have kept in mind.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

How do you mean?

Leah Haslage:

I'm not going to go in depth with all my photographer stuff, but trying to pay the down payment, the first payment, I got charged like an extra $94 for paying it with like credit card over their process thing.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

Yeah. So be aware of that, too. And that's also a cost of business expense for me. Like I'm not going to push that to my clients. That's not happening.

Leah Haslage:

So ridiculous.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

Yeah, that's really not fair either. Like it's just, I'm not into it. And honestly, like if you're the business owner and the $100 is really affecting you, like maybe you should like, like redo your pricing. Now tax is different, right? Like that's like certain states are required service tax, right? Which is fine, but no, no credit card fees. Like we're not doing that either.

Leah Haslage:

What about contracts? Anything in contracts you should be keeping in mind?

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

Yes. Remember I used to work for law firms, so.

Leah Haslage:

Oh yeah. But it's true.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

So I am a contract girl, right? And actually, when I first started my business, one of my old bosses was amazing. And he actually wrote my first contract. So I love him. Thank you, Jerry. And this is like a corporate huge like IP attorney, right? And he's like writing this little thing for, you know, for my business. He's like, Oh, I would love to. It was really, really cool.

So with contracts, they're long, right? And nobody wants to read them. Contracts are in place to protect the business. Okay. So that being said, you have to understand that most small businesses are doing this because they need to protect themselves from people who are emotionally involved in their weddings and might, you know, like, oh, I'm suing you because I didn't like that one photo with my aunt. Like, that's not happening. Like, we have creative rights, you know, as artists, you know, things like that. So if you see that clause in there, it's totally fine, right?

We just went through a pandemic. You're always going to see a clause in contracts of vendors who actually understand contracts that if there's a great flood outside, a hurricane, a tornado, so anything that Mother Nature can do, Yeah. I can't give you your full money back because that's something nobody can control, which is why everyone should look into wedding insurance. Thank you very much. Because the things that are covered might be in there.

And my favorite one, just as an FYI, is just as an example of what wedding insurance can cover, depending on what your policy is. But let's say you're outside taking photos and you have your beautiful veil that costs $2,000, right? The wind comes and blows it off your head and it goes into the ocean, right? I know, it happens. Guess what? Call up your wedding insurance policy, you could probably get that money back. So people don't think about that. So if your transportation literally breaks down and you have to pay Uber to get your whole wedding party, they will cover the cost of Uber. So like stuff like that. So just FYI.

Leah Haslage

So wedding insurance.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

Wedding insurance, everybody. Yeah, you might even be able to get a policy out of like your home policies. So just triple check that. I'm just saying. Anyways, so with contracts, make sure that your payments are listed out, right? So you know what to expect and that you're comfortable with that, right? Some people forget what they signed off on, right? And some vendors won't remind you when payments are coming or and just then at the end of the, you know, like one month out, you're like, oh, my God, I have thousands of dollars to pay. So if you don't have a planner, like make sure you take out all the payments that are listed in there, If the vendor doesn't have a reminder process or something like that.

And also just be mindful of. I know everybody doesn't want their photos out there and I get that, but photographers and videographers especially, and IP in general, intellectual property, needs to be protected because if you read a contract and then go back to the vendor like, hey, can you change this for me? They probably can't because they need an attorney to do that. It's legal law, like you need to get it approved and written out. And this isn't just like, hey, this is just not a simple agreement. Right. So just be mindful to not like insult your vendor sort of that way and just trust that they've done the right thing.

Now, if they come to you and they don't have a contract that's very thorough, maybe that's a red flag, too. Right. Like, OK, this person is just like, hey, you owe me like five grand or whatever, but hasn't listed out when they're going to deliver your photos or hasn't listed out. when you'll get your sneak peek, you know, things like that. I think that it is totally okay to go back and be like, hey, can you please just write this out so I know when I can get stuff back, you know?

Leah Haslage:

No, that's so important. Yeah. Because I got married May of 19. I did not get my photo albums until I was hounding on like a fucking nag until we were well into the pandemic. It was like summer of 2020. It was like a year, over a year after I got married.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

Oh my God. Whoa. I'm so sorry you had to go through that.

Leah Haslage:

Finally got full photos digitally. I mean, it was like maybe that fall.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

So they didn't even respond to you and stuff?

Leah Haslage:

Eventually, and then I was like, oh, it's coming, and then nothing, and then the albums were over a year later.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

It's so much better to ask these questions before you sign that contract and that proposal, so you're prepared because some photographers or some photo businesses, I should say, they don't have in-house photographers and they just do consultants, right? Those are not my favorite.

Leah Haslage:

Oh, like contract out?

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

Yeah, when they contract out, which is probably why you have a delay, right? And you can't match the design work as well. But The ones who are in-house, you can absolutely ask them to address and be like, hey, when can I get that? And you'll probably get it quicker, too, because they probably aren't contracted out to so many weddings all the time. And you probably know they're getting paid a bit better, too.

Leah Haslage:

One of my all-time favorite movies, one of my all-time favorite rom-coms is The Wedding Planner with J.Lo. I have it pretty much memorized. I was watching it again yesterday while cooking. Because, you know, research for today.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

I forgot. I forgot all the characters names, but I love it. It's still one of my favorites.

Leah Haslage:

It's the best. So how much of The Wedding Planner is accurate and how much is sensational for movies?

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

Well, Matthew McConaughey is not going to fall in love with you. I'll tell you that. That is.

Leah Haslage:

Killing the hope of wedding planners everywhere.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

I'm so sorry, guys, but this is no fiancé. It's not going to happen, OK? That doesn't exist.

Leah Haslage

So are you on your headset with like your kit like her in the beginning?

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

Wweating in the middle of like a summer wedding with humidity in New Jersey? Like, trust me, we might be snacks like when we're doing podcasts, but not on wedding days, OK? I might be fancy with my outfits, but trust me, that is not the top of mind, right?

Leah Haslage:

When someone's hiring a wedding planner, they might have J.Lo in the movie in their head. How much of her professionally in that movie is what you guys go through?

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

Feasible?

Leah Haslage:

Yeah, like when the bride shows up the day before the wedding with the bad spray tan.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

Yeah, so that wouldn't happen on my watch. See, those are the checklist items that go out a month before, like, you know, get your haircut now so we can fix it, okay? I think what she portrays, Miss J-Lo, is something like full service wedding planning. So as we were just talking about packages and such and that not what you're gonna get with month of coordination, okay? You're not going to get somebody next to you for tasting, someone to go through all the venues and stuff.

Remember, time is money. So if we are taking the time to drive with you and to be with you, like right next to you, that's why the packages are more. So that's number one. I think people just will look at me like, well, you know, J Lo did in Wedding Planner. Why don't you do that? I'm like, because it's not real. It's a movie. It's Hollywood.

I also think I'm a planner like this who I really connect with my people, right? It's just who I am as a person. And I think in that movie, she portrays someone that is like an empath and just really feels for people and just really gives her 150%, right?

Leah Haslage:

Hypes the bride up on the wedding day saying that you are beautiful.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

Exactly. Exactly. So not everyone is like that. Me, I will, that is me. I am. I am your girl. So just don't have the expectation that you're going to have like a hype girl that day, especially if you don't have full planning and it's just someone that's sort of, you know, not the lead like business owner or lead, you know, assistant and things like that. But, you know, walking around with a clipboard, I think no one really does that anymore except for me sometimes just because I like the color of it because it's part of my brand colors. But I'm really just holding all the printed out stuff that's like on my phone. That's all.

Leah Haslage:

But you're chewing the venues with them like she does in the movie when they check out Napa and they check out the park and stuff like that. When she goes with Matthew McConaughey to pick out the flowers because the bride had to go to a business thing, but they're looking at flowers, this arrangement could work.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

All of that happens, but remember, it'll happen if it's lined out like your contract and your proposal. Every business is different. So if you're watching The Wedding Planner and you're looking for a planner, I need you to ask these questions. Will you go with my amazing, good-looking Matthew McConaughey husband to pick out peonies? And don't you also think that, like, in, like, the Hollywood verse, right, I really think How I Met A Guy In 10 Days was, like, the prequel to Wedding Planner, because then it didn't really work out. So I just always think in my head, like, Matthew McConaughey just kind of moved on and then just married J. Lo.

Leah Haslage:

I think he made those movies back to back. Yeah.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

Yeah. That's how I feel. Like they were, they were very close.

Leah Haslage:

He was like owning the rom-com at that time.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

Yeah. 100%.

Leah Haslage:

Um, okay. So in wedding planner, she has her whole thing where like, if they picked Olivia Newton Johns, I honestly love you. They were going to get divorced within 14 months. If the girls, the bridesmaids dresses were teal guaranteed divorce within a year. Do you. Do you have, as a wedding planner, like, oh my God, they picked this fucking song, this relationship is doomed.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

I did make a reel last year that was pretty popular and it got a lot of views or whatever, but it said that if I have a headset, I'm talking shit about your guests and it totally happened.

Leah Haslage:

Are you feeding the groomsmen his speech, just like in the movie?

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

Oh, I have absolutely written speeches that have been, like, I ghost-write it. Yeah, and I have also told people, be like, okay, we're not going to say that. Let me rewrite this for you, please. I've also made the DJ unplug speakers because it was just getting too much.

Leah Haslage:

Yeah. So instead of playing the music like the Oscars, you just-

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

Yeah, I'm like, oh my God, what happened? I don't know. Sorry about that. The bride was like, what happened there? I'm like, well, and she's like, oh my God, that was you? Thank you. It was so funny. She's like, that was weird, right? I'm like, yeah, it was a little strange. The speech was going in a direction that nobody was like, you know, I just…

Leah Haslage:

And this is why planners can save the day.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

Yeah. And I'm OK. Like, I say this to all my clients. I'm like, I'm your person. Like, if everybody wants to be mad at me, I don't care. As long as you're happy, it's all good. Wait, go back to the question. I got sidetracked.

Leah Haslage:

Oh, yeah. So just like in the movie, is there like a wedding planner of like, this relationship is doomed because they pick these things?

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

It's usually not about the couple. I just have a really good time like making up stories about your guests. I really do. Like, you know, the couple who is dressed so chic and like showing off on the dance floor. I'm like, you have four months of your relationship left. Like you probably shouldn't have gotten on the dance floor. or came to the wedding, you know what I'm saying? Like the ones that are like super attention seeking, right? I'm like, oh.

Leah Haslage:

That's the worst plus one you can bring. Yeah, it's the worst plus one ever.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

And you know the bride is just like, oh, do we have to say yes to this, right? Or, you know, like, we'll like watch the bartenders too and see like, you know, when they start cutting people off. I'm like, called it, like I told you. Like as soon as he walked in, I felt his vibe, he was gonna be trouble, you know, like stuff like that. Yeah.

Leah Haslage:

Oh, I didn't even think about from the guest perspective, but that makes sense.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, and I also have like a debrief with my couple because we'll tell them like all of the mishaps that happen. Right. And then like kind of be like, and also just, you know, the maitre d was amazing. Like this happened and because they don't see a lot. Right. And we do.

Leah Haslage:

You're supposed to, you're supposed to be hiding the fires the day of.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

Exactly. And I just want them to make sure that they know that everyone stepped up for their wedding, you know, and not be like, oh, they did nothing or whatever and be like, listen, this bartender I had to run to the grocery store to get more strawberries to muddle, you know what I'm saying?

Things like that I will share, but then I will also be like, so do you guys want the gossip of your guests? We'll be like, well, so table five, right? The one wearing the red dress and usually they'll be like, oh yeah, she's, you know, whatever. So it's just like, it's just kind of fun because I think after weddings, people do that anyway, right? Like everyone's texting like, oh my God, I was so drunk. It was such a great wedding and blah, blah, blah, you know, things like that. But I honestly, I don't, I don't have like a, like the J-Lo thing, like, oh, if they may, if they play this song, they'll be over type of thing. It's more of just like shit talking everyone else that's there.

Leah Haslage:

Well, I guess that the couple, though, like one of them has a major attitude or if there's tension during planning.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

I think I have a very good sales process and I really want to be in it with both of them.

Leah Haslage:

Yeah.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

But sometimes I don't get face to face with everyone at all times. Right. So sometimes you might kind of think like, oh, I really hope that they made the right choice like before the wedding. And then at the wedding, I'm 100 percent always pleasantly surprised and be like, we love each other. Yeah, because it's just, you know, you never want to have one partner who's more involved than the other partner in planning because there's so much to take on, right? It's a lot. So I just start to feel bad. But again, I'm not in everyone's relationship. So maybe they are doing the work behind the scenes and just not in the virtual office that we provide, you know, like stuff like that. So but 100% of the time, I'm pleasantly surprised.

Leah Haslage:

Oh, good. Okay, so, you know, I ask the fun questions. What is your all-time favorite wedding movie or TV episode?

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

This just goes to like my exact personality of how me growing up as well, but My Big Fat Greek Wedding, like it's just... It's like, it's just so ridiculous, audacious. It's literally how all of my first cousins got married, like probably the same dress at some point. I was the youngest, right? So I was, you know, I was, I was a 90s kid. So, you know, everyone was so much older. I was the absolute flower girl for everybody. So, and you know, like Gus is like my dad. He's just like, why are you so old? Windex. Yeah, Windex. We don't have Windex in Croatia. We have Rakija, which is, you know, homemade moonshine. So it cures everything.

Leah Haslage:

Yeah.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

So that's that Gus is my dad with his Windex. So it's so yeah, I love it. It's just just kind of fun, feel good movie. And I don't think the newbies getting married even know how popular it used to be. So.

Leah Haslage:

And it came out on the same time as Wedding Planner. It was O2. Did it really? Mm hmm. Wow. Because Wedding Planner was 01, Big Fat Creek Wedding was like 02, 02 was How to Lose a Guy. Early 2000s, man, really had-

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

That's where I was at. I'm telling you. Fashion-wise.

Leah Haslage:

Yeah. I mean, 90s has a lot of great ones because one of my all-time favorites is You've Got Mail. But early 2000s, there was just something there.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

And it was cute. I'm Croatian, so we obviously related to so many things on there. My favorite part is when the bridesmaids were all circling her and I think the aunt was like trying to get like one more hair. Just one more, one more hair.

Leah Haslage:

You're like, I feel this to my core.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

I'm like, okay, I understand this. Yeah. But that's, that's, that's one of my favorites for sure.

Leah Haslage:

Oh, it's so great. Any final piece of advice? You're obviously going to come back. We're going to talk more about wedding planning and we're going to have Q&As with the audience. So, you know, if you have any questions for Diane, yeah, send them in. But any final advice for today?

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

For today, just be honest with yourself, like when you're wedding planning, because the more that you give to all of your vendors, telling them exactly how you are, the better they're going to serve you. And it's not going to be a surprise in the end. That's all.

Leah Haslage:

Thanks for sharing your story, your journey.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

Oh, and just to kind of put it full circle, right? The venue that I was supposedly, you know, the Brinezilla, right? I am now one of their preferred vendors, which is one of the top venues in New Jersey. So it's pretty cool. Yeah. They're like family.

Leah Haslage:

So it is full circle.

Leah Haslage:

Yeah. Full circle. See you aren’t a zilla, you’re a chilla.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

Yeah. See. Thank you.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

That's what I'm trying to say.

Leah Haslage:

Well, thanks, Diane. It's so fun to have you back on. Thank you.

Diane Kolanović-Šolaja:

I'll see everybody soon.

Leah Haslage:

Thanks for joining us today! Be sure to subscribe wherever you get podcasts so you never miss an episode. Give us a follow on social media and visit thebridechilla.com. To leave a question you'd like to hear answered on the show, head to speakpipe.com/bridechillapodcast, also linked in the description.

Bridechilla is a production of Evergreen Podcasts. Thanks to our producer and engineer, Gray Sienna Longfellow, and our executive producers, Brigid Coyne and Gerardo Orlando. And of course, a special thanks to Aleisha, our OG bridechilla, and Meghan Ely of OFD Consulting. I'm your host, Leah Haslage. Until next time, Chillas!