Asking Permission to Give Feedback
This week on the podcast Sara brings on non profit leader Tiffany. Over time her response to feedback has grown from anxious to excited for the opportunity to make changes. Her approach is to learn the person before jumping to providing feedback. Once that relationship is built, it’s more comfortable to get to a place of candid conversation. Subscribe to this podcast for new episodes every week!
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Sara: Welcome to Can I Offer You Some Feedback? My name is Sara. And this is the podcast for those who have a complicated relationship with feedback and are looking to hear from real people across levels and industries with their ideas, perspectives, and best practices on feedback. Before we dive in, I'd like to introduce our guest for the podcast today, Tiffany. She's a nonprofit executive who is passionate about ending food insecurity. Welcome to the conversation today.
Tiffany: Thank you so very much. So glad to be here.
Sara: Excellent. Well, let's kick things off with the main question of the podcast. When I say the phrase, can I offer you some feedback? What's your gut reaction when you hear that?
Tiffany: So this is probably a unique response. But I actually get excited. I think about the opportunity to receive that feedback and make changes, which is I think the goal. So for me, I actually get excited. But if this was me five years ago, I would be anxious and a little just worried about what it is that you're going to tell me.
Sara: So you've noticed yourself some of that growth over time that your response to it has changed.
Tiffany: Absolutely. And I would say definitely since our time together in our Cleveland Bridgebuilders class, we've talked a lot about asking for feedback. And so I've actually integrated that into my approach. And I really think about my teams that I manage and supervise, and I have a lot of examples where they have been given the green light to lead up. And I even think of my household where I've given my husband and two children that same green light with caution though, be careful. Most days I can accept their feedback, but then others it's a little rough.
Sara: Yeah, maybe it's a yield and not a green light. It's a proceed with caution. Eyes ahead. Potentially just be aware of that. And you kind of teed this up. When you're thinking about feedback, do you prefer to be the giver or the receiver of feedback?
Tiffany: I think that I do prefer to give feedback. I think that's natural. And for me, I think I've mastered the ability to give very thoughtful and genuine feedback. But I take the time to learn a person that I'm giving feedback before just jumping in to give that feedback. Does that make sense?
Sara: Yeah. And when you're learning them, how does that help, or maybe this ties into the next, what helps you provide that meaningful feedback for that person? How do you define that?
Tiffany: Right. So being mindful of the individual. Once you've built that relationship and you have that conversation and almost ask for permission in terms of if that's the type of relationship that the two of you have established, then that makes it very easy and also that reciprocal relationship in terms of that feedback loop. And so I think it just starts with building that relationship and getting to a place where you can really just have candid conversations about a variety of things.
Sara: Is there an example may be that comes to mind of an experience where you've seen either meaningful feedback delivered or maybe you've been the recipient of it?
Tiffany: Yes. That goes on actually every day. It's a very busy time here at our organization. So professionally, just had a conversation, a part of our efforts here at the Food Bank as we address root causes to hunger and end food insecurity for our neighbors, we're very thoughtful about food access and the entire ecosystem. And so as I described, while we plan and provide a mass distribution that's pretty centrally located, The Browns City of Cleveland off of 90, we also aspire to open another Food Bank pantry on the West Side or South Side of Cleveland. We also have built a resident-led group, which provides input. We are making those critical decisions.
And we have to be mindful of geography. We have to be mindful of racial tension. It still exists, unfortunately. And so I had to provide a tough pill for my CEO to swallow and other leaders, "Hey, I'll just tell you. Having a pantry in Parma would definitely help in terms of the number of people served. But what I will say that people of color have expressed that they're not comfortable still in 2023 to travel to Parma." It was tough. I mean, it took me a while to think about how would folks react? How would folks who are of the majority culture react? Also coming from a place of privilege.
And so as we think about the landscape, we got to have those conversations and give their feedback. So, I would be remiss if I didn't offer that as a senior leader here at the organization. And then align data, right? We know data is important. But just talking to our neighbors to hear their perspectives is just as important in my view.
Sara: And as you were saying, feeding that up with your teams that you try to encourage that too as well.
Tiffany: Yes.
Sara: When you're thinking, if I'm in the wish-giving business, if I could grant you a wish around providing people with one thing they could do better around feedback, what would it be?
Tiffany: My wish on this topic, on this question, I think people, when they hear feedback or the word feedback the wish for me, just come with an open mind. Come with an open mind. I've seen many examples when you hear the word feedback, people tense up. They have their guard on. And then it becomes more difficult to actually receive the message. And so for me, that would just be open. And also, that aligns with their wishes, too. Now that a person is coming with good intentions, if that's your mindset, then you tend to receive that information a little differently.
Sara: Right. And as you shared earlier, it's a natural response to have shields up, defenses active when something potentially threatening comes. But over time, how do we build the safe space for all different kinds of people to be able to provide us with that feedback? For our last question in our time together, Tiffany, can I offer you some feedback?
Tiffany: Please, I would love it. Thank you. I was going to ask you. I can't wait to get to this question. Let's do it.
Sara: I know you're like, "best question of the podcast." One of the things that I've been really thankful for and I've seen you do it in a number of different settings, whether on the peer level, whether seeing you in your work, knowing all the different aspects and angles to the work that you do, I really value and appreciate the invitation that you offer others to join in your enthusiasm. And anytime I see you, you always say happy and then the day of the week. And it's an invitation. Join me in where we can find the joy today, where we can find possibility, where we can find opportunity.
And at least that's how I see it and I think that that's a really strong skill to be able to get people on the same page, get them excited. It doesn't mean it's going to be easy. But how do we refocus that energy towards a positive way? And I think that that's something that's so powerful. And I've seen, again, work at the peer level, at the manager level, organizationally, being able to really re-channel and refocus folks' energy around getting it done, whatever the done is. So, I look forward to seeing that more. I know that that's definitely something that you lead with strength. But I know that that's something that I'm really grateful for as well.
Tiffany: Thank you for paying attention to that. That is what I attempt to bring to the room. I think positivity is contagious as you just described. But think about how negativity is even more detrimental and more contagious. So for me, I have to have a balance, even when I just feel like I'm at my breaking point, just because of life, right? I have to self-reflect and give myself feedback to continue on a positive trajectory. Or else, I'll need a little extra therapy.
Sara: We can all do a bit more of that. And I mean therapy in that way is getting honest and raw feedback from someone who may not have all the context, and that's okay. And I think that that's one of the opportunities that we have to get a new framing, get a new perspective, and have a partner in the journey. So, absolutely. Tiffany, thank you so much for taking the time to speak with me. And thanks to you for joining us in another podcast of, Can I Offer You Some Feedback? You can reach me at [email protected]. We would love to hear from you on your thoughts on feedback or any other perspectives you'd like to hear from next. As always, give us a quick rating on your platform of choice and share this podcast with a friend. And I'm hoping that tomorrow you take a chance and offer some feedback when it's needed most.
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