Get Schooled with Stephanie Jankowski

Annmarie Kelly:
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Annmarie Kelly:
When you record a podcast there's what the listeners hear, but there are also these occasional down times. The audio folks might be checking sound levels, our lead producer could hear a buzzing noise she wants to problem solve. You learn to roll with it. Because I have no discernible skills on the technological side, my job during those lulls is usually just to chat with our guests. Most of the time we're making small talk, the weather, books we've read, where our guest bought her cool earrings. But every once in a while we'll share a thoughtful moment that isn't caught on tape.

Annmarie Kelly:
That's what happened with today's guest, Stephanie Jankowski. Steph is a terrific teacher and she came on the show to talk about getting back into the school rhythm. She is full of great advice for parents and teachers alike. But during one of our audio lulls we also hit on something that has stayed with me. We both confessed to already feeling a little beaten down by the school year. We each have three kids and jobs, and we were squeezing this interview in right after we'd gotten the children out the door to their schools and right before we were sitting down at our own desks to do our own jobs, we were carving out the tiniest bit of time for adult conversation and to make this show I love.

Annmarie Kelly:
Both Stephanie and I have worked in education for two decades now, and we're incredibly familiar with what I would call the high school football scene, that crisp Midwest back to school vibe that usually makes September crackle with excitement and possibility. It always reminds me of that line from the You've Got Mail movie where Tom Hanks offers to send Meg Ryan a bouquet of freshly sharpened pencils. However, I will not deny it, I also feel a weariness. The pandemic was not good for much, as I've said before, I give it two solid thumbs down.

Annmarie Kelly:
But it was good for getting us out of the things that we never really wanted to do in the first place, the superfluous meetings and responsibilities chaffering kids to activities all over town. I did not miss the after school mom-bo. Yesterday I picked up my daughter from school and dropped off my son at track practice, and then dropped off my daughter at home, and then picked up my son from track and dropped him off at home, and then zipped my daughter to musical rehearsal, and dashed to a meeting, and then retrieved my daughter from rehearsal and schlepped home. Then we squeezed dinner, and homework, and family time into the corners and crevices of our day.

Annmarie Kelly:
Stephanie and I talked about all that. But again, because it was during a break, I didn't get it on tape. I thought about trying to recreate it for you guys, but then we ran out of time, and quite frankly, the fact that we were talking about having to squeeze the awesomeness of our lives into stolen moments of the day was underscored by the fact that we discovered those shared feelings in an unrecorded corner of our conversation. This is all just to say that I am looking hard at my calendar this week and seeing how I can breathe a few more breaths into it, more ease, more joy, definitely more carpools, and more of the things I love with the people I love. If you are also hobbling along during this back to school month, I encourage you to do the same.

Annmarie Kelly:
So our guest today is Stephanie Jankowski, an English teacher by trade and smack-talker by nature. Stephanie's humor writing can be found at When Crazy Meets Exhaustion, and her essays have been anthologized in, I Just Want To Be Alone and The Big Book of Parenting Tweets. Stephanie co-directed the storytelling show Listen To Your Mother Pittsburgh, and was a guest at the White House where she was invited to spend the afternoon with former First Lady Michelle Obama, discussing the pressing issues facing parents and teachers and what we could do about them. A mother of three, Stephanie lives in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where she makes a mean ham barbecue and spends way too much time trying to match her kids' socks.

Annmarie Kelly:
Stephanie Jankowski, welcome to Wild Precious Life.

Stephanie Jankowski:
Thank you, friend.

Annmarie Kelly:
So your book Schooled is described as, "A love letter to the exhausting, infuriating, occasionally excruciating, yet somehow completely wonderful profession of teaching," and it's also described as, "For every educator who's ever wanted to bang their head against the blackboard your book shouts, I see you, and you're not alone."

Stephanie Jankowski:
Yes.

Annmarie Kelly:
It's such a lovely book, I'm so glad that you're here to talk about it.

Stephanie Jankowski:
Oh, thanks for having me, and thanks for reading it.

Annmarie Kelly:
When I interview for jobs in education, that I'm simply never prepared for, and I'm curious what your answer is. This is really sneaky, okay?

Stephanie Jankowski:
Okay, all right, I'm ready.

Annmarie Kelly:
Why do you want to be a teacher?

Stephanie Jankowski:
My answer 20 years ago is different than the answer today. 20 years ago it was because I'm going to make a difference, and I just had all of that gorgeous, I was just deliciously naive, I think. Today, though, I honestly feel like I still can make a difference, but I feel, and this is possibly a little conceited, but I am just good at it. And I look at some of them that are in the classrooms and with our kids today and just think, you're not so good at it. And so I feel like I'm almost needed at this point, which says probably a little bit about my ego, but a lot about the system of education as a whole. I just feel like our kids need an advocate and someone who wants to be spending that time with them.

Annmarie Kelly:
I'm so glad that you're out there working on behalf of kids, because you're right, there are plenty of folks that I both have taught with and also as a high school kid learned from.

Stephanie Jankowski:
Right? These are examples of what not to do.

Annmarie Kelly:
They wanted their summers off.

Stephanie Jankowski:
That's it, that is it, right? And listen, I don't begrudge that, I enjoy my summers off with the kids, but it's just, I don't know, they just deserve better, especially now. Being a kid was hard in the 80s and 90s, being a kid today, it's a train wreck, so they need somebody in their corner.

Annmarie Kelly:
Sure. I mean, they've been through, we've all been through these unprecedented times. My daughter is a senior this year and she's yet to have a completely undisrupted year. We had her freshman year, the world shut down, her sophomore year, they limped back, her junior year, we had the end of Delta and Omicron, and all these variants. And so homecoming, it wasn't just, am I going to have a date to homecoming? What dress am I going to wear to homecoming? It was, it's homecoming going to be existing.

Stephanie Jankowski:
Right.

Annmarie Kelly:
So they've had very little free opportunities to just have faith in a system that believes in them that they can believe in.

Stephanie Jankowski:
Absolutely. And I'm on the other side of that coin, my daughter started kindergarten, the world shut down right in the middle of that, which was awful because I was finally just getting her excited about it. She was the child that went for the first two days, loved it, and then come the third day she's like, "I'm sorry, no, I don't want to continue to do this," so she would run from the bus. We had tears, we had bartering systems, I made this, I was so proud of myself, if there's no fuss before the bus, we had a treasure chest. But we were finally on the right path, and then Friday the 13th hit and that was that.

Stephanie Jankowski:
So this is really the first year I feel like it's been a whole experience, we don't have restrictions in the cafeteria, parents are allowed back in the building, I will get to go back in and start tutoring, and I'm really excited about that. But the kids need that, they need the normalcy, whatever it looks like right now, but they definitely need the experience and the people making it as a wonderful and worthwhile experience as possible.

Annmarie Kelly:
That's very true. So I remember, this is in the before times, but I remember when you were in the process of getting your book Schooled out the door, I remember thinking there were times when you were the one being schooled by the process of writing this book, and then other times that the rest of us were being schooled by your wisdom, there was a lot of schooling happening. So would you talk to us about this labor of love? What was it like to publish this book, and the journey, just tell us about that.

Stephanie Jankowski:
Yeah, well you used the right word, labor. I didn't set out to publish, actually. I had been writing on the side for educational websites, and I have a blog that I just, it's verbal diarrhea. And so the publisher came to me and was like, "Would you ever write a book about motherhood?" And not that I don't think that would be interesting, but I felt like it's been done at nauseum and so I was like, "Well, probably not, but thanks." I mean, who says no, first of all, so whatever. And then he was like, "Well, what about teaching?" And I was like, hold on, because I've had this idea marinating in my brain for almost two decades, and so it happened very quickly. So we hit the ground running, they needed a table of contents, and I literally had nothing but the idea of, I could write a love letter to this profession.

Stephanie Jankowski:
My editor was phenomenal, she was so patient with me, and so she took an idea and stretched it and molded it and all of a sudden it was an entire story. And so the actual act of writing was horrifying, terrifying, gratifying, but I'll tell you what was more difficult, was actually finding people to read the book and buy the book, and that part, I think, was almost, I felt like a door to door salesman, and I hated that, but it was necessary because here's this baby I just birthed, and I would love for you to hold him and love him, and so I need to put the baby into your hands. And so it was a whole thing, but I don't know what was more painful, actually having my C-section with my son, or getting that book out the door, like you said. Both wonderful experiences, would do it again, highly recommend, but it really takes a lot out of you.

Annmarie Kelly:
I want to dig into this for a little bit, because before the book what I thought of you as was a writer and a teacher, that's what I knew you, I knew your blog, it's When Crazy Meets Exhaustion, right?

Stephanie Jankowski:
Correct, yeah.

Annmarie Kelly:
Yeah, I knew your writing, so I knew you as a writer and a teacher, and that's what you did. And so now you were asked to write a book about teaching, I trust you to take me through these schools because I know you as a teacher, and I'm understanding you as a writer, but it feels like such a gift.

Stephanie Jankowski:
Oh, well that is a very, very nice thing to say, thank you. It's funny because the ideas came easily, crafting it into something I could be proud of and writing is a completely different story, but the ideas were there. I think the concept always lived in my brain, and it was almost like it was meant to be, like kismet, or something, when they came to me and was like, "Would you be interested?" Initially they were talking about motherhood, not that I'm not interested in writing about my experience as a mom, but I just feel like, I don't know, that just wasn't what I was passionate about at the time. That sounds awful, kids, if you're listening, I love you, Mama loves you.

Annmarie Kelly:
They're not listening.

Stephanie Jankowski:
Oh shoot. Okay, mother-in-law, I do love your grandchildren. No, but I don't know, I can't even explain it, this was always simmering, it was always there, and then all of a sudden somebody gave me the tool and was like, let's do this, let's make it happen. It all came to fruition and it really was, I know I joke about it, but this was a story I had been wanting to tell, specifically about the first school where I taught, the people there, the experiences there, just life changing, and I will carry that with me forever, and so to have it memorialized in a book is pretty special.

Annmarie Kelly:
It really is. And I've had the honor of reading the book, but I guess some of our listeners might not have. Why don't you, and I'm not asking you for a full summary, but maybe tell us a little bit about your first teaching job, what was that like?

Stephanie Jankowski:
It was like somebody punching you in the face every morning, but then giving you the best hug at night. So that's about it. No, I think anything new can be overwhelming and daunting, and I think when your product is a child, and the stakes are so high, it just goes without saying that it is stressful. And there are so many nuances like, kids, man, and I had teenagers, so some of my students were 18, and I was 22, 23 when I started teaching, so that in and of itself was exceptionally difficult. I say difficult, but challenging, it was a challenge, and one that I accepted.

Stephanie Jankowski:
But it was hard to go from hi, I'm in college, doing anything I want and there are really no guidelines, to now I'm responsible for these actual humans and their learning, and in my mind, part of their success as a human being outside of the school too, that was always in the back of my mind. I'm not just here to teach you about sentence fragments and reading Shakespeare, but I would also like to impart some life lessons, like don't be an asshole when you leave my classroom. Also not in here. So it was a very big responsibility, so coming from, again, the college life to this giant responsibility was like, oh, what have I done? But worthwhile at the end of the day.

Annmarie Kelly:
I do remember that, you're taking me back, but I remember from my first teaching job, it was one of those parent nights, and I remember being really cheerful and chatting with the parents and just chatting them up, and then the bell rang, and then they were just coming for me. Because I was a toddler teacher, I was a baby in their eyes, and they're looking at me, their kids are 17 and 18, and I'm 23, and I do remember that. And reading your book, I'm not 23 anymore, I know you couldn't tell, but I had forgotten what it was like to be much younger than the parents, and them looking at me like, my teenagers being taught by a glorified teenager. You really did have to earn their respect.

Stephanie Jankowski:
Yeah, you really had to prove yourself, absolutely. And one of the stories in my book is my first year of teaching, it had been a few months, it was established that I worked there, I went to the building and earned a paycheck, thus I am employed. I was on hall duty, and I had slipped out of my heels and put on tennis shoes because it just makes sense, and the school nurse saw me walking the halls and literally put her hands on me, grabbed me, and was yelling, "You need to get back to class," and that was not the first time she had done it.

Stephanie Jankowski:
I was so pissed at the end of that day like, when will my colleague know, one, you don't put your hands on another person, clearly, but also I work here, I have been here for months, we have had this very same encounter multiple times, I don't get it. So that was, in retrospect it's funny, at the time it was infuriating, but it was almost like I needed to wear a sign like, "Hi, I'm a teacher, not one of the sophomores, thank you." But it made for a good book, so there's that too.

Annmarie Kelly:
Had to put your hair up in a bun and wear a severe blazer.

Stephanie Jankowski:
Yes, those ballet flats and never smile.

Annmarie Kelly:
It's funny, I had forgotten about many of those things, there's other ways that you try to earn your stripes in teaching, but I'd forgotten what it was like to just be almost the same age as the kids you're teaching. That's also a benefit, though, because I feel like the music they were listening to and the music I was listening to was the same.

Stephanie Jankowski:
Definitely. You make those pop culture connections, and especially when you're doing it in the lesson, and you can make Hamlet make more sense, or whatever, that is an absolute benefit.

Annmarie Kelly:
So you and I are talking during the back to school weeks in America, I just went to my son's curriculum night, formerly meet the teacher, last night, and I'm heading to my daughter's tonight. This is the time of year when we're all on good behavior, trying to get off on the right foot with the students, with the parents. However, as the months tick by, I know we sometimes lose some of that shine. You and I are both teachers, and we're both parents, I think we're speaking from similar perspectives, and so what are some of your survival tips for parents and teachers to be good partners on this educational journey?

Stephanie Jankowski:
Well I think, like you said, we all start out these shiny pennies, and then it just gets to the point where you're like, I just cannot for one more second. I think the key is always, and will remain, respectful, open communication. Teachers make mistakes, parents make mistakes, and so I think if we are just able to respectfully communicate and acknowledge when we're maybe not at our best, and so we can show one another that grace that I think is probably lacking today, I think that's absolutely the key. I think it has to be a partnership, I think it has to be 50/50, and I do think it'll help keep us shinier longer. But as far as survival tips, oh, uh-uh, I just fly by the seat of my pants, winging a prayer, and that's really all I've got. That's it.

Annmarie Kelly:
There was a sign in the faculty room when I lived in Charleston, South Carolina, it was something to the effect, it might have even been based on a book, but it was something like, if you don't feed the teachers, they eat the students. And I laughed, because I was inevitably getting some terrible, tired lunch that I was scarfing down while running around, but it also highlighted for me the relationship between teachers and students, between students and parents, between parents and teachers. I used to tell parents that there's going to be a day when your kid comes home and they're like, "Ms. Kelly, she assigned homework," and, "Mom, oh my gosh, we've got to read this book in our reading class and it's due tomorrow," and you're going to be tempted to be like, "I'm shocked to discover the writing teacher assigned writing."

Annmarie Kelly:
And I would tell them, I'm like, "And there's going to be days when your kid comes in and we're journaling, and they're going to be like, 'My mom said I have to clean my room, and my dad said I cannot drive the car, and I had to mow the...' So we're both going to be on the receiving end of the stories that the kids tell about us, and that before I ever write to you and accuse you of taking away their car keys, or I'm shocked to discover that you're asking them to do chores, I'm going to trust that you're a partner on this journey, that we have to feed these relationships."

Stephanie Jankowski:
Absolutely.

Annmarie Kelly:
Whenever I write to my son's or daughter's teachers, I don't want the first interaction to be very Karen-y, like, "Hey, I was just wanting to know," so I always think about-

Stephanie Jankowski:
"My kids said, you said."

Annmarie Kelly:
Feed that relationship. If your kid ever comes home and says anything nice about any teacher ever, dash a note and be like, "Hey, I just wanted you to know you're wonderful and my kid says so." No expectation, feed that relationship, so that when, it's like money in the bank, so that when you do need to be like, "Yeah, my kid says you skipped him in sharing and he came home and cried," you don't want that to be the first email you send.

Stephanie Jankowski:
Agree 100%, and that's so funny because I just did that for all three of my kids the first week of school. I'm lucky that they really do enjoy going to school, and so they'll come home, and my middle, she's 11, and has so many words, and she uses them all the second she gets in the door. So everything stops, we pause, and we let her share literally everything that happened in her day. But I take notes in my brain, I'm like, oh, she's mentioned this math teacher's name four times, she's really excited about, I don't know, decimals.

Stephanie Jankowski:
So I did, I ran to my computer real quick and just said, "You were the topic of conversation, I know you don't get to hear this enough, but thank you, my kid's excited about learning, it's because of you, thank you." Because as a teacher we don't hear that probably ever, or at least not enough. And we're not trying to be a kiss ass, but I think it's just human nature, everybody likes to know you're doing something well, and we see you and thank you, and that in and of itself I think is enough just to make that solid foundation and first connection, because you're right, that first connection is hopefully something positive.

Annmarie Kelly:
Yeah, and often it's not, and so then you've got to think about when, as a parent, do I speak up, and when do I let the kiddo solve it? As we're talking about this I'm wondering, so I know you as a teacher, and a humor writer, as a mom, and a teacher, but did becoming a parent change you as an educator? Are you different now than you were before?

Stephanie Jankowski:
I don't really think so, because I was always that educator that was like, you put the student before all. I was always concerned, did you get a good breakfast? How are things in your personal life? How is that going to impact the way you're learning in my class? I think maybe the one way I do see myself differently is that I pick up on little nuances of the students because I now see them in my own kids. I feel like I've changed more as a parent.

Annmarie Kelly:
Tell me about that, yes.

Stephanie Jankowski:
I think, like I mentioned earlier, I'm a bit harder on my own kids. I want them to recognize that these teachers, it's not a cake walk. If they tell you to get a yellow folder, get the freaking yellow folder. You don't have the luxury of deciding what you will and won't do. It doesn't matter if I don't agree with it, I don't care if you don't like it, but you're going to do it. I just feel like that's just, from professional to professional, my family will come into your classroom and they will be respectful. They might not be the best student, and they might have a bad day here and there, but if you want a freaking yellow folder, we're getting the folder.

Stephanie Jankowski:
So I also feel, in some sense, that my kids are almost in this fishbowl of, they've done nothing to deserve it, but my husband and I are both educators, my husband teaches in the district our kids attend, and so I think there's a bit of pressure there as well just to raise, hi kids, don't be asshole, that's our goal. Don't embarrass the family name, and just be good people. So I don't know, I feel like that's been the focus, or the bigger change for me.

Annmarie Kelly:
My dad taught in my high school so I could never kiss a boy in the hallway and get away with it, never.

Stephanie Jankowski:
Dang it.

Annmarie Kelly:
It was the worst. I didn't care about the classroom stuff, or the teacher stuff, but if you were going to have a boyfriend and hold hands, it was going to get back to him.

Stephanie Jankowski:
Yep. Honestly, that's going to be all three of my kids, and my husband's already said, "We'll be going through a process, a vetting process, for everyone you want to date," and he's kidding of course, but my two daughters are having an absolute fit, which is really something I'm enjoying at this point. I mean, they're 11 and 8, they're not about to go to prom, but the fact that they're already worried about, Oh my gosh, dad's going to be there, I'm like, yes.

Annmarie Kelly:
I think becoming a parent made me softer as a teacher, and in the beginning I really, that bothered me, because I feel like I used to be all about the work and the deadlines and the stuff, and I think ever since becoming a parent, I also feel like I used to put on a show for the kids, like let me entertain, they never knew, jazz hands, and what was going to happen next? And be mystified, I just feel like there's no time for that anymore, I can't be blowing up balloons.

Stephanie Jankowski:
Yes.

Annmarie Kelly:
But I also think that because of that, it's not my job to wow them, it's my job to love the students and value them and esteem them and believe in them so that they will love and value and esteem and believe in themselves.

Stephanie Jankowski:
Absolutely.

Annmarie Kelly:
I know that I believed that before, but I never was quite as overt about it because I was too busy tap dancing and putting on my shows. I also let kids go to the bathroom now. Remember?

Stephanie Jankowski:
That's so sweet of you, yeah.

Annmarie Kelly:
Remember, every principal I've ever had, principals, if you're listening, they're always, "Keep the kids in the classroom, the two and a half minute change time, that's when they're supposed to pee."

Stephanie Jankowski:
Oh yeah, plenty of time.

Annmarie Kelly:
Plenty of time to unlock your locker that sticks, and get your books, and that yellow folder we've been talking about, and your binder, and talk to a friend, and go to the bathroom, and not be late. Our classes, they're an hour and a half. I sometimes have to go to the bathroom. So I talk to the kids about maybe don't, when I'm saying a sentence that's like, "And I guess the most important thing that I want you to take away, not just from this class, but from the whole year," and they'll raise their hand to use the bathroom. No, no, this is not the moment. So we talk about appropriate moments for asking. But I used to tow the line, where you only get three a semester, or all that nonsense, and now I'm just like, you know what? Yeah, it's okay to go to the bathroom, because I know what my kids are like when they come home off the bus and the first thing they're running to the bathroom.

Stephanie Jankowski:
Yep, yep. And I think the reason we were so adamant about these are the rules and we will follow them, I think it goes back to being a young female teacher, at least for me, I found myself wanting to do everything by the book, because you will not look at me and say, "Oh, she's just this young girl, she doesn't know any better," and so that obviously translated into me being pretty strict in the classroom. And I think softer, like you said, is probably a good word, I think I just finally realized these are young human beings who might not be coming into my class because they're excited to write a five paragraph essay, there just might be some other things influencing their day, and I think I probably recognized that better after I had my own.

Annmarie Kelly:
Yeah, just ideas that your schools are often the heart of your community, and so how can that heart be beating not just for the fourth and fifth graders who go there, or the 15 and 16 year olds who are made to be there, but how could it be more of the pulsing heart of the community? I think some of the answers could be much more simpler than we sometimes make them. I know schools that have, in my hometown they have a community workout center that's adjacent to the gym, and so throughout the day my older neighbor would go and swim at my high school, and you'd sometimes see him in his flip flops. The school was his recreation center, they did SilverSneakers, and other people are coming to the school. And then the theater productions that they do, of course they're opened up to welcome the community there. But anytime you can, making sure that the school's not just a hub for the teachers who are there, but also the kids, and that the families feel welcome. I know in this time of school security.

Stephanie Jankowski:
Yeah, that's what I was just going to say.

Annmarie Kelly:
It's really, really hard for those boundaries, but even in those after school hours what you can do to make the school the beating heart of the town, because it is that.

Stephanie Jankowski:
It is, and I just feel even, I don't know, for the first week parents go to kindergarten lunches and literally help the little ones open their applesauce packets and make sure that you're using a straw for your milk, and not that our seventh and eighth graders would need that, but how about just a welcome wagon in the morning, like hey, I know that lady, that's my basketball teammate's mom's sister's cousin, just show up in the cafeteria, I think the teachers would probably love the help on cafeteria duty. I don't know what the answer is, and I don't know who is actually available to do these things because we have jobs. But I just feel like that component is missing as the kids get older, and I wonder if there is some correlation, because studies show that after the fifth grade students are much less interested in learning. And I'm not pointing the finger at curriculum or teachers, I think there's a lot of moving parts to that, and I don't know how we could address those things and make those small improvements.

Annmarie Kelly:
Well, there were things I was interested in learning, they just weren't being taught in my classroom.

Stephanie Jankowski:
Touche, touche.

Annmarie Kelly:
Although leaving room for Student choice, and I had a kid write, inquiry based learning, so I had a student write his argumentative paper last year about how video games did not make kids violent, and he was researching and arguing on behalf that often when it comes to violence in schools people look to first person shooter video games, and he was heavily researching how video games were outlets for kids frustrations. I never would've assigned this topic, but it was what he was interested in, and he was charged with writing a persuasive essay, and it didn't matter to me what he persuaded, that he effectively did it.

Stephanie Jankowski:
Right, I love that.

Annmarie Kelly:
But taking cues from what the kids are interested in and figuring out how to make the curriculum support that inquiry based learning.

Annmarie Kelly:
Long before the pandemic, I believe you were one of the first teachers I ever met who was online teaching. I know all of us, in 2020, got a taste of it, I think you were, in my memory, you were one of the very first online teachers I had ever met, so I know you've had your own classroom, you've taught summer school, you've been in the buildings, but you've also worked online, and I'm wondering if you could offer us some pros and cons, just the value of online versus in person teaching.

Stephanie Jankowski:
Yeah. I think collaboration, that socialization aspect in the traditional classroom, face-to-face, those are huge benefits to face-to-face learning. That said, I know a lot of students that thrive in the online classroom, and it's not because they don't want to be with other kids, it's because they are so busy with other people doing other things. I've had professional ballerinas, I've had kids studying abroad, I've had kids going on mission trips with their church, and so online learning allows them to do that. They're exceptionally well rounded, which I think is a misconception of online learners.

Stephanie Jankowski:
But if we're talking strictly teaching, I miss not being in the classroom, looking at their faces as I horrify them with dance moves, or laugh at my own jokes, you don't necessarily get that online. But I will say I am fortunate, I'm not really in an instruction role right now. So I went from English teacher to the equivalent of almost like a college advisor. So I'm working with students in rural Louisiana right now, and these are students who need someone like me, they need the online learning opportunity to get a decent education and to allow them to continue doing the mission trips and the whatevers, so I'm reaching a community that I wouldn't be able to otherwise.

Annmarie Kelly:
That makes sense. That is magical, though, when it does work. I'm remembering that in addition to being one of the first people I knew who was an online teacher, you were also one of the first people I knew who was invited to the White House because of your awesomeness as a parent and an educator. I don't think I'm telling a story, I think that this is real. I think that you got to go to the White House because the first lady, Michelle Obama, was there and wanted awesome parents and teachers in the same room.

Stephanie Jankowski:
Oh, those are all facts.

Annmarie Kelly:
I don't even know if I have a question, I just think I want to ask, do you remember the time when you went to the White House, that was awesome.

Stephanie Jankowski:
And you just met the first lady.

Annmarie Kelly:
I'll make it a question, was it awesome?

Stephanie Jankowski:
I've had good days and... No, it was, first of all let me just say I was three kids deep, they were five years old and under, so I had that, I had the full-time job, I was really trying to get my writing off the ground and I get this email saying, "So would you be interested in going to Washington DC," literally my first response, and I typed it, and I sent it, was, "I am much too busy," send. And so my husband-

Annmarie Kelly:
Who are you?

Stephanie Jankowski:
I don't know, I think my youngest was maybe not even a year, maybe she had just turned a year, but I was drowning in motherhood. So my husband comes home and I was like, "Look at this," and he was like, "Stephanie, Michelle Obama is inviting you," and I was like, "How am I going to get there? Who's going to get the kids on the bus?" And your mom brain starts off the rails, and he's like, "We will work it out, we're going to need you to go ahead and RSVP." And then I did it, and it was incredible. Just to be in a room where you felt seen and appreciated by Michelle Obama, by anybody who has the capacity to make a large scale difference, it was, God, just incredible, incredible. She took us on tours of the gardens, I got to see where Mr. Barack Obama played basketball, and I still brag about these things.

Annmarie Kelly:
Oh, that's most excellent. I'm so glad for that. I do think there aren't all that many moments as teachers where we are looked at and told how valuable the work we do is, or how we esteem you, and so I'm so glad that you got that moment.

Stephanie Jankowski:
And she said something I'll never forget, she said, "Just keep working at it, because it's making a difference. You are influencing not just the kids in your classroom, or the ones under your roof, but the role that we are in as educators, we take it for granted. We take our reach and our ability to influence and make change, we take it for granted." So I've kept that in the back of my mind, it's a pretty heavy responsibility, but at the same time it's exceptionally exciting and so I just, I remember my girl Michelle when she said it, she was looking right at me, it was awesome.

Annmarie Kelly:
Totally, totes, I saw her I saw it on television, yeah, you guys had a moment.

Stephanie Jankowski:
I also stole a napkin, don't tell my family.

Annmarie Kelly:
You know what, this is a safe space, anything you say on Wild Precious Life stays on Wild Precious Life.

Stephanie Jankowski:
Oh, absolutely.

Annmarie Kelly:
No one will ever know. I could talk teaching all day, and I know that you've got to actually go and do the teaching job, so I'm going to wrap with just a few icebreakers here at the end, some get to know you stuff for these first weeks of school. And for the first ones they're just multiple choice, you just pick one, okay?

Stephanie Jankowski:
Okay.

Annmarie Kelly:
So dogs or cats?

Stephanie Jankowski:
Oh, dogs.

Annmarie Kelly:
Coffee or tea?

Stephanie Jankowski:
Coffee.

Annmarie Kelly:
Mountains or beach?

Stephanie Jankowski:
Beach.

Annmarie Kelly:
Yeah, I'm pretty sure we were going to do this interview one day, and we scheduled it and you're like, "Actually I think I'm on vacation at the beach at that time." How'd you forget that you're going on vacation at the beach?

Stephanie Jankowski:
Because I am a train wreck in this summer. Without the school day structuring my time I don't even know if I'm coming or going, but the beach was amazing.

Annmarie Kelly:
I'm glad, I'm glad. Early bird or night owl?

Stephanie Jankowski:
Oh God, can I get a third option that's right around 1:00 PM?

Annmarie Kelly:
All right, an afternoon later gator. I don't know, we'll have to come up with a name for you.

Stephanie Jankowski:
Yeah, I'll take it.

Annmarie Kelly:
As a teacher I remember my dad just laughing when I was becoming a teacher, he's like, "You're not a morning person, you know when high school starts?" I've had to be in classrooms at 7:03, or 7:13, and I know lots of night owls who become teachers and it's funny. This is fill in the blank, if I wasn't working as a teacher I would be a?

Stephanie Jankowski:
Writer.

Annmarie Kelly:
Yeah, I thought maybe. Are you a risk taker or are you the person who always knows where the Band-Aids are?

Stephanie Jankowski:
Oh, I'm the Band-Aid person. Yeah, for sure. Boring.

Annmarie Kelly:
I don't know if it's boring, try having a blood gushing wound, I think the Band-Aid person is very important.

Stephanie Jankowski:
Well, but in that instance I would point them out to someone to then go get them, because I don't do the gushing of the blood either.

Annmarie Kelly:
You're a purveyor of Band-Aids, but not necessarily-

Stephanie Jankowski:
I'm a supervisor, yeah.

Annmarie Kelly:
Nice. If you could time travel, would you rather go back in time or forward?

Stephanie Jankowski:
I would want to go back, yeah, I'd go back and maybe just sit with my pap for a bit.

Annmarie Kelly:
Yeah, yeah, I understand that. What's something that folks don't know about you? It could be quirky, it could be a pet peeve, it could be a like, an obsession, what do folks not know about you?

Stephanie Jankowski:
I can pick most anything up with my toes, which is probably not something I would start a conversation with, but here we are.

Annmarie Kelly:
You've got tingers, isn't that what it's called? Finger toes.

Stephanie Jankowski:
I do. I like it, tingers, and yes, I'm also, I've been known to pinch, so if my kids are behaving in a way they shouldn't, we're in public, I can just latch on. It's not really a sexy quality, if you will, but I make it work, I make it work.

Annmarie Kelly:
I love that, I love that. You're from Pittsburgh right now, so what do you love about where you live?

Stephanie Jankowski:
I think I just love that there's always something to do. You get into the city, you've got great theater, I love our cultural district, but a stone's throw and you're in the middle of nowhere on a trail.

Annmarie Kelly:
What's a favorite book or movie or both?

Stephanie Jankowski:
Oh gosh, To Kill a Mockingbird is my all time favorite, and I just don't know that that will ever change. Movies, I'm not really a big movie watcher, I just prefer to do the reading.

Annmarie Kelly:
Yeah, I hear that.

Stephanie Jankowski:
Yeah.

Annmarie Kelly:
And what's your favorite ice cream?

Stephanie Jankowski:
Oh gosh, favorite ice cream. There's a chocolate chip cookie dough that sticks to my thighs and I love it so much. That said, I'm more of a pastry girl. I would prefer a slice of cake or chocolate chip cookies over ice cream any day of the week.

Annmarie Kelly:
All right, well you just let me know what time to be over and we'll definitely do that.

Stephanie Jankowski:
So you're bringing them is what I'm hearing?

Annmarie Kelly:
Not if I have to drive to Pittsburgh.

Stephanie Jankowski:
Nah, that's true, that's fair.

Annmarie Kelly:
You come to Cleveland and I'll bake for you, I come to Pittsburgh, we'll go to the bakery.

Stephanie Jankowski:
That's fair.

Annmarie Kelly:
All right, last one, if we were to take a picture of you at a very happy moment, doing something that you love, what would we see?

Stephanie Jankowski:
We're at the beach, and my kids are running like lunatic in and out of the waves, and the fam and I are just sitting with drinks. It's the perfect temperature, it's that warm, warm sun, but anytime it like it's too much this cool breeze comes off the water, and everybody's laughing. And there's a dog somewhere, preferably right beside me so I can just pet it while I sip and watch my kids, and that is the perfect Stephanie snapshot, for sure.

Annmarie Kelly:
Well, we will hold on to that image. Stephanie Jankowski, thank you so much for being here with us today.

Stephanie Jankowski:
Thank you, friend, it's so nice to see you and talk to you, I appreciate it.

Annmarie Kelly:
I know, I should have mentioned we did a show together years ago that I believe you directed and just let me be in, so let's do that again sometime.

Stephanie Jankowski:
You were incredible. Oh please, listen, anybody who's listening needs to, can we find that video?

Annmarie Kelly:
God, I don't even know.

Stephanie Jankowski:
Listen to your mother, I bet I have it somewhere, I'm going to send it.

Annmarie Kelly:
Oh, that would be excellent. So guys, Stephanie Jankowski is the author of the book Schooled, which is a love letter, it really is a love letter to educators everywhere, I think parents, students, teachers, this is required reading, if you are passionate or dedicated to the education system I think you will love this book. And to folks who are listening, we are wishing you love and light wherever the day takes you, be good to yourselves, and be good to one another, and we'll see you again soon on this wild and precious journey.

Annmarie Kelly:
Wild Precious Life is a production of Evergreen Podcasts. Special thanks to executive producers Gerardo Orlando and Michael Deloya, producer Sarah Wilgro, and audio engineer Ian Douglas. Be sure to subscribe and follow us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.