Tired of the malarkey coming from the mainstream media?

Well that stuff's history! Modeled after Movietone newsreels of the 1930s, our beloved Rodge Bigsby cuts the baloney and gives it to you straight.

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This Week in News: 1/10/19

| S:1 E:02

Breaking News: It's Build a Wall or Eminent Doom
Rodge rails on the escalating so-called crisis over Trump’s multi-billion dollar border wall. It’s a royal standoff, and millions are feeling the shockwaves of an ongoing government shutdown. Speaking of shock, Bigsby dishes up on big discoveries and college championships – waving a mammoth flag for Clemson and exposing epic rumors on Beyonce’s tabloid mega-divorce. From Washington to Hollywood, this is one newsy tour of duty!

RetroTone News

Episode 2: January 9, 2019

TITLE: Breaking News: It's Build a Wall or Eminent Doom

EPISODE DESCRIPTION:

Rodge rails on the escalating so-called crisis over Trump’s multi-billion dollar border wall. It’s a royal standoff, and millions are feeling the shockwaves of an ongoing government shutdown. Speaking of shock, Bigsby dishes up on big discoveries and college championships – waving a mammoth flag for Clemson and exposing epic rumors on Beyonce’s tabloid mega-divorce. From Washington to Hollywood, this is one newsy tour of duty!


INTRO

Here is a snappy summary of the news – a weekly digest of the latest events and happenings at home and abroad. I’m your host, Rodge Bigsby and this is your RetroTone News Minute!

Good Evening Mr. & Mrs. America and all the drones on the border. Let’s take to the skies !



1) THIS WEEK IN POLITICS…

BIG NEWS MEANS A BIG ADDRESS FROM THE POTUS TO SUPPORT A HUGE NEW WALL

President Trump took to the airwaves for his first televised address to the American people, live from the Oval Office. BBC reports the speech was a plea for funding for his long-promised border wall with Mexico. He’s asking for a whopping $5 billion to break ground... that’s a lot of Moolah! But the standoff continues between the Republican administration and the newly Democratic-controlled House of Representatives over the funding dispute – leaving nearly 800,000 federal workers furlowed or working without pay. National Parks have been closed, museums shuttered, trash and lavoratories overflowing… you know what Rodge thinks!? (PRODUCER: Uh, Rodge, stick to the script.) I think it’s all a bunch of baloney!

<https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-46805568>

2) AND SPEAKING OF BILLIONS...

BP just discovered a billion barrels of oil in Thunder Horse field in the Gulf of Mexico.
As the United States celebrates energy independence for the first time in decades, our pals at CNBC report British Petroleum’s huge discovery. The oil titan says it will spend $1.3 billion to develop a third phase of its Atlantis offshore field south of New Orleans. My oh my, ain’t that a mouth-watering gumbo of cash. (Not… sure what that really means.)

<https://www.cnbc.com/2019/01/0... 1 LINE: AND WE’LL BE BACK IN A JIFFY, AFTER A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS…

3) WELCOME BACK.

Wyoming cat infected with bubonic plague

A Johnson County cat, known to wander outside near its home, was infected with bubonic plague, according to lab results from the University of Wyoming. Why... it’s the third feline in the state in six months to contract the disease. The Wyoming health department recommends people avoid areas with rodents and use repellant when in areas with fleas. But this health-scare does have a happy ending - the kitty cat bounced back, according to a spokeswoman for the Wyoming Department of Health. Me--ow!

and speaking of kitty cats...


4) IN COLLEGE SPORTS…
(insert Clemson Fight song snippet)

In a great battle of the grid-iron, a game “so hot it burns you too”... the Clemson Tigers pushed the Red Tide out to sea, with a 44-16 victory to declare title of College National Champions. Where’s that Tiger! Hold that Tiger! Way to go… Clemson!

5) HOORAY FOR HOLLYWOOD…

Beyonce, Jay-Z Getting Billion-Dollar Divorce?

Despite the completely bogus tabloid report, Beyonce isn’t able to brush aside the scintillating scandal. A questionable tipster contends that hotsy totsy Beyonce will go after a large chunk of the couple’s $1.2 billion fortune after discovering Jay-Z’s alleged “love child”. Jay-Z has denied the unsubstantiated claim. Perhaps Instagram stories of the mega stars’ renewed nuptials can put the tabloids to bed. Nighty night… fake news.

6) The Golden Globes have come and gone but the buzz is still ablaze!


'Twas the collective gasp heard the world around: Lady Gaga lost! The “Star is Born” lead was snubbed by the Hollywood Foreign Press, overlooked by the Golden Globes for Best Actress in A Motion Picture Drama... and no one seemed more surprised than winner Glenn Close. One talkie took to the twittersphere to say, “If you think you’re surprised Lady Gaga didn’t win, I’ll see your shock and raise you a Glenn Close.”

And in another must see moment … Christian Bale thanked Satan. That’s right, he thanked Lucifer himself for inspiring his leading role playing Dick Cheney in Vice, during his acceptance speech. (Ok. That’s just weird.)

7) SIGN OFF STATEMENT:

What’s your story morning glory, Rodge wants to hear from you! Tweet me @RodgeBigsby. Or share your story ideas with our news team and connect on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram with “@” tag Retrotonenews.

Remember… Retrontone News is available on every podcast platform.

AND THAT'S ONE FOR THE REPUBLIC! I'M YOUR HOST RODGE BIGSBY WITH NEWS FROM RETRONTONE. UNTIL NEXT TIME … MAKE A GOOD DAY!

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