Tired of the malarkey coming from the mainstream media?

Well that stuff's history! Modeled after Movietone newsreels of the 1930s, our beloved Rodge Bigsby cuts the baloney and gives it to you straight.

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This Week in News: 3/28/19

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March really is madness with Rodge’s blaring media headlines and beyond. Retrotone packs a heavy punch aimed at Russiagate, the Jusse Smollett scandal and the devastating Heartland Floods. You’ll also get Bigsby’s Beat of the Week, some feel good news with environmental friendly social media challenge #TRASHTAG and This Week in History, from Retrotone News.

Rodge Bigsby: Here is a snappy summary of the news, a weekly digest on the latest events and happenings at home and abroad. I’m your host Rodge Bigsby and this is your Retrotone News Minute. Greetings Mr. and Mrs. America and all the sheer madness in March. Let’s take it to the hole. This week in Armageddon. As the Muller probe ends, a scourge of unscrupulous behavior grips the nation. Listen here. There’s God @#\(% lawlessness! Catastrophe! A talk of treason on the wire this week. For #\)^@ sake, Rodge has just had it up to here, see? From bombastic release of the curiously redacted and summarized Muller report to the scandalous charges of extortion from Stormy Daniels infamous legal counsel, Michael Avenatti. What in the world is going on? For the love of Pete!

Rodge Bigsby: Meanwhile in Chicago, the depained, yet still employed, hate crime faker himself Jussie Smollett has had his case thrown out. Thrown out! Son of a #$%^! And Chicagoans are fuming.

Rodge Bigsby: And as the new Russia gate myths and conspiracy theories of deep states and illuminati swirl about the republic there’s real news in the heartland. Floods of biblical proportions set to continue. Crippling farmers with a double whammy of high waters and trade wars with Sister China. Sweet Georgia brown! When will we get our &$%# together? Oh Mama I’m scared.

Rodge Bigsby: In American basketball: March Madness. One guy with a perfect bracket. This week NCAA.com tracked down a Columbus, Ohio man who has the last perfect bracket in the world, but not for long. Smithsonian says, “The first bracket pool was created in 1977 at a bar in Staten Island amongst 88 people.” Now millions make their picks ahead of March Madness every year. Yet, no one has ever picked 63 games correctly. Some say the odds of a perfect bracket are one in 9.2 quintillion. Quintillion! I love this game.

Rodge Bigsby: And now let’s wash ourselves clean with a word from our sponsors.

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Singers: Bold the wonder detergent gets clothes bright. Bold man, Bold man, Bold man…

Rodge Bigsby: Welcome back folks! In feel good news: the hashtag trash tag challenge is on. Sweet cookies! The kids are all right. And the earth is loving the trash tag challenge. And if any challenge should go viral, and I would like to go viral, it’s this one. This novel social media challenge has participants capturing before and after snapshots of an area where they cleaned up trash with hashtag trash tag. From lakes and beaches to parks and freeways. Eco friendly folks are tossing litter bugs to the curb. This makes Rodge grin from chin to chair. Clean up clean up everybody do your share.

Rodge Bigsby: Give your blues a scatt with Bigsby’s beat of the week. Sure there’s plenty of trouble today. Even still there’s more good in this world than bad. Things shape up swell in this cool and crafty scatt. I’m out chap Cab Calloway. It reminds us to shake a leg and take to the dance floor when trouble comes down. Let’s get to jumping.

Rodge Bigsby: What a week in history. Let’s wrap up with some major milestones. In 1912 Japanese cherry trees were planted along the Potomac. Coincidentally the Cherry Blossom Festival is in full swing in our nation’s capital. Delightful. In 1939 the University of Oregon defeated the Ohio State University to win the first ever NCAA men’s basketball tournament. It was then March Madness became known. You know. They got a bouncing. In 1998 the FDA approved the big one the popular pill for muscle car restoring cover band playing dads a like, Viagra. And in 2002, Holly Berry became the first black Best Actress Oscar winner for her gripping role in Monster’s Ball. And that’s one for the republic. I’m your host Rodge Bigsby and this has been news from Retrotone a service of Evergreen podcasts. Until next time, make a good day. You-Ha! Hashtag Rodge Bigsby.

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