Tired of the malarkey coming from the mainstream media?

Well that stuff's history! Modeled after Movietone newsreels of the 1930s, our beloved Rodge Bigsby cuts the baloney and gives it to you straight.

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This Week in News: 4/4/19

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Lots of 3 letter acronyms this week with shoutouts to the FTC and DOJ for jobs well done; conversation about Trump’s comments on the ACA; and a PSA from the DOH about vaccines. To top it all off, you can enjoy Bigsby’s poem of the week.

Rodge Bigsby: Here is a snappy summary of the news, a weekly digest of the latest events and happenings at home and abroad. I’m your host Rodge Bigsby and this is your Retrotone News Minute. Greetings Mr. and Mrs. America and all the shoe shine and floor shine. Let’s lace up those rhymes. One struck down disease is breaking out on the heels of superstition. Uh oh! Numerous vaccine preventable diseases such as mumps, measles, and pertussis, known as whooping cough, are making a comeback with increasing outbreak occurrences since 2000. Doctors and infectious disease experts are rolling up their sleeves to get a grip on more research of vaccine effectiveness, waning immunity, and the potential effects of unvaccinated children. Their results? It’s time to dodge superstition and vaccinate your kids. See? A whole generation could be dealing with diseases that were once considered eradicated. On a more lighthearted note, people have been taking to Twitter with some hilarious anti-anti-vaxer memes. Rodge’s favorite goes a little like this. “1999: team sneaks out to go drink with friends. 2009: team sneaks out to smoke weed with friends. 2019: team sneaks out to get measles vaccine.” Rodge’s solution? It’s high time we needle up. Vaccinate your little ones and keep America safe.

Rodge Bigsby: On the hill. Shut the door. McConnell says hands off the ACA. It’s been a seesaw of policy debates in D.C. On again, off again, on again. But in this case the book is closed on the ACA for the time being. According to WAPO the mighty Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell convinced the recalcitrant President Trump to shelve his pedestrian plans to replace the Affordable Care Act until after the 2020 election. The Republican Senate majority leader offered a rare glimpse of his counseling acumen with a promising glimmer. Two years into Trump’s governance suggesting Republicans on the Hill are getting a knack for how to negotiate with the Art of the Deal author himself and his pendulum swings on policy. How do you spell really? M C C O N N E… Well you’ll get the idea.

Rodge Bigsby: In Hollywood. DOJ urges the Academy to open the lens of the Oscars. On March 21st The Department of Justice delivered a stern letter to the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, warning them they may face anti-trust lawsuits. Should they continue to block Netflix and other streaming services from the illustrious Oscars, they’ll be in a bit of hot water. Personally, Rodge is excited to see if Bird Box could run to the red carpet next year.

Rodge Bigsby: And now, a word from our sponsors.

Announcer: A deserted warehouse on the outskirts of town, and a ticking bomb spells trouble for Batman and Robin.

Robin: Holy breaking and entering, it’s Bat Girl!

Batman: Quick Bat Girl, untie us before it’s too late.

Bat Girl: It’s already too late. I’ve worked for you a long time and I’m paid less than Robin.

Robin: Holy discontent.

Bat Girl: Same job same employee I mean equal pay for men and women.

Batman: No time for jokes Bat Girl.

Bat Girl: It’s no joke. It’s the federal equal pay law.

Robin: Holy act of Congress.

Batman: Can we talk about this later?

Announcer: Will Bat Girl save the dynamic duo? Will she get equal pay? Tune in tomorrow, or contact the Wage and Hour Division listed in your phone book under the U.S. Department of Labor.

Rodge Bigsby: Welcome back folks! In feel good news: good riddance to robo calls. On Monday the FTC put the kibosh on four different call centers that have been harassing people for years. This crackdown signals the end of millions of unwanted robo calls, ending scams about warranties, home security, even fake veteran charities. This may sound like a bit of a first world problem but it’s one Rodge is certainly glad to see go. Here here FTC!

Rodge Bigsby: And now for a moment of poetry. Today we’ll take pause for some war era penmanship. A true tribute to the men and women who fought for the flag. This one’s for you guys and gals. Today I’ll be reading an excerpt from The Shield of Achilles by W.H. Auden. Out of the air a voice without a face proved by statistics that some cause was just intones as dry and level as the place. No one was cheered and nothing was discussed. Column by column in a cloud of dust they marched away enduring a belief. Whose logic brought them somewhere else to grief.

Rodge Bigsby: And that’s one for the republic. I’m your host Rodge Bigsby and this has been news from Retrotone, a service of Evergreen podcasts. Until next time make a good day. Yoo-Ha! Hashtag Rodge Bigsby.

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