Tired of the malarkey coming from the mainstream media?

Well that stuff's history! Modeled after Movietone newsreels of the 1930s, our beloved Rodge Bigsby cuts the baloney and gives it to you straight.

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This Week in News: 6/20/19

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It’s no secret Rodge was in hiding. It’s like he never left. But somehow, he came back… different. He sees the world through a new lens. Could be Kodak. He’s definitely keen to thank his rescue team, take on the truth, bear his hip hoppier side, and salute the Siberian Tiger (among other musings).

RETROTONE NEWS

EPISODE 24: JUNE 20, 2019

TITLE: This Week in News: 6/20/19

HEADLINE: The Return of Rodge? Rescue the Truth? A Bigsby Rap? Wait...WHAT!? Just Send for Our Free Booklet.

EPISODE DESCRIPTION:

It’s no secret Rodge was in hiding. It’s like he never left. But somehow, he came back… different. He sees the world through a new lens. Could be Kodak. He’s definitely keen to thank his rescue team, take on the truth, bear his hip hoppier side, and salute the Siberian Tiger (among other musings).

INTRO

Here is a snappy summary of the news – a weekly digest of the latest events and happenings at home and abroad. I’m your host, Rodge Bigsby and this is your Retrotone News Minute!

Greetings Mr. & Mrs. America and all the rhymes in Mister T (or all the vodka in Moscow). It’s the Eye of the Tiger!

1) RODGE IS BACK

It’s been a few weeks since I got back from hiding, but I’m finally ready to talk about my experience. To begin, I would like to thank the men and women of the Siberian Special Forces... especially Col. Artimus Ivanov, who lead the search party that scoured much of Eurasia and North Asia for clues. They happened across my trail at the foothills of Mt. Kronotsky, where they rescued yours truly where I had fallen into a nearby abandoned diamond mine, through the help of a K9 Husky unit and a mountain of intuition. The rations of cold Borsch and Kasha carried me through for nearly a fortnight. And while I still cannot feel my toes, I thank the lord god for my return, once more, I live to tell... you... the truth.

2) A MOMENT OF TRUTH – A SPECIAL RETROTONE EDITORIAL SEGMENT

The truth is… well, I don’t even know anymore.
Near death. In a cave. It’ll turn you for a loop folks. Webster’s, how I love that dictionary, they’ll say it’s the body of real things, events, and facts – or – the state of being the case : FACT! Or a transcendent fundamental or spiritual reality. But the truth is… truth IS in the eyes of the beholder. Things look different now, see. Real different. (CUE THE HIP HOP BEAT + RODGE RAPS)

We’ve got self driving cars, rovers on mars, artificial facts, and Tanqueray.
Oh… Tanqueray, my favorite drink, makes me wonder, makes me think
Flat earther theories, April 15th, come to jesus

Sometimes this world stinks!
What’s the big audacious idea?
What the **** is time?
Kardashian Fluff is the New Prime Time.

What’s with this boloney?
And what is news?
Something to believe. Or, just pick and choose?

PIck up sticks. History stopped in 1936.

Back to the facts. Back to the scene.

What’s up is down if you know what I… (!)@#*&!)

(INSERT AUDIO SFX: long scratch of the record)

RB: NOW WAIT JUST A SECOND! BC: Rodge, um… we really need you to get back on the bubble. (pause) RB: Oh, yes. My goodness.

The great Eminem once said, “the truth is you don't know what is going to happen tomorrow. Life is a crazy ride, and nothing is guaranteed.”

BC: cut to the ad (*whispers*)

AD 1 LINE: AND NOW A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS…
Remember, there’s more for your life at Sears.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9pfUNB9yEE

OK... WHATEVER. WELCOME BACK FOLKS.

3) NOW FOR SOME IN REAL NEWS –OR– IN REAL NEWS

Russia is Living the Dream -- with Siberian Tigers Roaring in with a Comeback!
https://www.cbc.ca/news/world/siberian-tigers-comeback-1.5041469

CBC reports, right up the road from the scene of Rodge’s rescue, in the forests of Russian territory, one of nature's most cunning predators is making a comeback. Amur tigers, known to most as Siberian tigers, made popular the world around by Circus’ titans and shirtless guys in Vegas, are the largest cats in Asia. They’ve survived loss of habitat, illegal hunting, even wartime - and are roaring their way back from extinction. Thanks to the Russian government and groups like the World Wildlife Federation, the tiger count is rising for the first time since 1900. While there’s a mere 500 in the wild, it’s estimated they will grow 700 by 2020.

4) TRUE DAT. LET’S GET BACK TO SOME BIG RHYMES WITH BIGSBY’S BEAT OF THE WEEK!
Most people think that Sugarhill Gang's song “Rappers Delight” was the first mainstream rap song. Hold the farm. It wasn't released until the winter of 1979 only months after “Kim Tim III (Personality Jock)” hit the airwaves. But could this little ditty from Harry Reser, penned in the grand old day of 1930 be the very first rap? Maybe we should ask Joe and Toby, over at Evergreen. The cats from the Riffs on Riffs podcast can tell you, well… just about anything about samples from these wild Hip Hop days. They know everything, I mean everything about the origins of sound. Have a listen (when you tryin’ to be lit but you live in 1930):

5) SIGN OFF STATEMENT:

And that's one for the Republic! I'm your host Rodge Bigsby and this has been news (AND!) opinions from Retrotone, a service of Evergreen Podcasts.

Until next time… make a good day!

Yoo-Ha! Hashtag, RodgeBigsby.






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